IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that all
students
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 in universities have to
study
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 the
subject
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 they like,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they have to only
study
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 something useful for their future,
for example
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, those related to
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 and technology sectors.
Although
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 learning about the latter subjects is crucial to secure a good job and salary, I believe that enrollment in whatever
subject
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 they
favor
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favour
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 leads to
students
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 being successful in their fields. Studying science and technology during third-level education
makes
Verb problem
enables
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students
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able
Correct word choice
apply
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to easily find a job that pays high wages.
That is
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 to say, working in the majority of modern workplaces requires up-to-date technological information
aiming
Punctuation problem
, aiming
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 to improve the quality of work and to compete with others, and, in turn, those employees will earn good remuneration.
For instance
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, many IT graduates from the University of Toronto were able to have high positions and good wages in many renowned business companies.
However
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, I think that the passion for what
students
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study
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 is more important than how much
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 earnings
are
Verb problem
earn
show examples
 in the future. It is very important for university
students
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 to
study
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 the subjects they like because
this
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 is the reason behind a successful career.
That is
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 because the love for
this
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 particular
subject
Use synonyms
 allows them to go beyond their limits, be creative, and be eager to improve, and,
thus
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, they might be promoted.
For instance
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, many well-known musicians decided to
study
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 music because they were passionate about it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 positive spirit helps them climb their professional ladder.
Therefore
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, I support
this
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 school of thought because studying a
favorite
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favourite
show examples
subject
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 is more important.
To conclude
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, despite the fact that a course in science and technology can provide postgraduates with a good future career and enough income, in my view, studying whatever they prefer is better because
this
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 leads to success in their field.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Put a short intro, one paragraph for each view, and a short ending that gives your view.
task
Explain why each view can be true. Then say why you choose your own view.
coherence
Use clear links to move from one idea to the next. Start new ideas with words like also, but, in addition.
content
Give a real example for each point. Keep the example simple and easy to see.
language
Check phrases that are hard to understand or long. Short sentences are easier to read.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
content
You give a real example (IT grads and musicians).
layout
The essay is easy to read in most parts and has a clear end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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