IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Many countries believe that hosting international sporting events like Olympics or World Cup is a great idea. Others think it is a huge mistake. Give the adaavantages and disadvantages of hosting international sporting events.

A great number of nations assert that the
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 of huge worldwide sporting events like
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 or
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Cup is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 excellent
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the others believe
otherwise
Linking Words
 On the one hand, hosting global sporting events
such
Linking Words
 as
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 or
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Cup would bring so many benefits. An obvious reason is
sport
Correct word choice
that sport
show examples
 is a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of entertainment for a lot of people. Another reason is the growth of tourism
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hosting countries
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a variety of disadvantages when holding
such
Linking Words
large scaled
Use the right word
large-scale
show examples
 sporting events.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the money
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for hosting could be
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 for more meaningful
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as charity or so.
Secondly
Linking Words
, construction workers are still facing safety
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
show examples
while
Linking Words
 building
stadium
Correct article usage
a stadium
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Task Response: State a clear view from the start and keep to it. Add more real, small facts or examples to back each point. End with a short, clear sentence that shows your view.
coherence
Coherence and Cohesion: Put ideas in a clear order. Use simple links like and, but, also, then. Make sure every sentence follows from the one before.
structure
The essay uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
content
It mentions ideas like tourism and use of money as points to discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: