IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is a better improvement that Many people around the world move to
cities
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of living in the countryside. I believe
this
Linking Words
 beneficial improvement, as the
cities
Use synonyms
 have more work opportunities, as they have more organisations because of the number of facilities and consumers there. and better medical care for any health problems, which gives them fulfilled lives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, what makes life better in the
cities
Use synonyms
 is that they have more job opportunities than towns, because many companies have their offices in the urban areas, as many customers live there, and facilities are superior and more developed than in the countryside.
As a result
Linking Words
, many residents relocate to big
cities
Use synonyms
 to have proper jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, many Britons move to London to get higher work
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
famous
Use the right word
higher-paying
show examples
 companies,
such
Linking Words
 as Microsoft and Apple, so they can have higher salaries to give their families a better life. Living in
cities
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has a great solution for people, especially the elderly, as it has high-quality hospitals and better services. If someone has a health issue, they can get better medical care in big
cities
Use synonyms
 because of the advanced healthcare services.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudi Arabia, many old people move to Riyadh to get good treatment, which they don’t have in the countryside. In conclusion, I believe the high demand for living in
cities
Use synonyms
 is a positive development, as it provides citizens to have high career chances in large establishments,
such
Linking Words
 as Google.
Likewise
Linking Words
, they can have better treatments in high-quality hospitals, because of the development of medical centres in big
cities
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make a clear plan: start with what you think, then give two or three reasons, then finish with a short end.
coherence
Keep one idea per paragraph and use simple link words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to show how ideas fit.
content
Add more details that fit the topic and show how life in cities can be good or bad.
grammar
Fix grammar. Use short, direct sentences.
vocabulary
Choose correct words and spell common terms right.
task response
The writer shows a clear view and keeps it through the essay.
examples
There are examples in each part to back up ideas.
structure
There is a conclusion that ends the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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