Some people think that the best ways to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are alternativeways to reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society, the best way to decrease crime is a topic of debate.
While
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some
people
Use synonyms
believe that giving
criminals
Use synonyms
longer
prison
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
is the key, others hold the view that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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Rephrase
no completely
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completely agree
Replace the word
complete agreement
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with the
later
Use the right word
latter
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,
although
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I acknowledge the benefits of both. On the one hand, there are many
people
Use synonyms
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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that
criminals
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in
prison
Use synonyms
longer
Change preposition
for longer
show examples
than the best
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
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, they have
Correct article usage
a tremedous
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tremedous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
amount of
time
Use synonyms
to rehabilitate , which helps them
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
their wrong
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
.
This
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is done when
people
Use synonyms
in jail
educated
Verb problem
are educated
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,
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apply
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about wrong
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
to help higher social awareness and their
wrong doing
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wrongdoing
show examples
.
For example
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, Kha Banh is a young person who
offended
Wrong verb form
has broken
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law
Correct article usage
the law
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. The first
time
Use synonyms
he went to
prison
Use synonyms
one to two years
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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and was released. But after he
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
a crime,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Kha Banh continued to go to jail the second
time
Use synonyms
with
the
Correct article usage
a
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sentence being 10 years.
Therefore
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, he
realized
Use the right word
realised
show examples
the
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
of himself
anf
Correct your spelling
and
transformed.
Secondly
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, the law is more serious,
deterrent
Correct article usage
a deterrent
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will help avoid criminal acts, causing
people
Use synonyms
to comply with regulations
such
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as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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compliance with traffic, no robbery, no stealing.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that
criminals
Use synonyms
will feel more regret when there are other alternatives. One major way is fine , especially
administrative
Correct article usage
an administrative
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fine
according to
Linking Words
the percentage of personal income.
This
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is evidence
when
Correct word choice
that when
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people
Use synonyms
violate the law
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
on the extent, they must be punished by paying the money as
prescribe
Wrong verb form
prescribed
show examples
.
In addition
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, with petty criminal or minor
offense
Use the right word
offences
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
should have to serve social
labor
Use the right word
labour
show examples
.
This
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is done by engaging activities
such
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as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
planting trees, making roads,
cleaning
Correct word choice
and cleaning
show examples
under the supervision of police. In conclusion,
although
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I acknowledge that
crime
Replace the word
criminals
show examples
should be in
prison
Use synonyms
longer to transform, I firmly believe that other ways
also
Linking Words
help reduce the rate of
criminals
Use synonyms
in society.

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planning
Plan what you want to say before you write. Have one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Use simple grammar and fix mistakes like subject and verb or noun form.
task response
State your view clearly in the end and link it to what you said before.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are connected and show contrast.
lexical
Give real and clear examples or explain ideas well, not only long walls of text.
content
Shows both sides and a view at the end.
structure
Has a clear end.
content
Some good ideas on fines and social work as other ways.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: