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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries allows old people to work to any age they want. Do the advantages of this overweight disadvantages

There is a view that in several
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
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 the old generation is allowed to
work
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
until
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 any age they want.
While
Linking Words
 there are some advantages to having jobs for older people, it provides significant problems for the younger generation. One of the benefits of working after retirement is that it allows them to build a strong financial position in their life.
While
Linking Words
 seniors are working, they
always will
Correct word order
will always
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 have a stable salary to feed their family and sometimes spend money on themselves. These kinds of unique working laws are popular among Australian
residents
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, as there are no limits for them in terms of working in ordinary jobs
such
Linking Words
 as a taxi driver, an office worker or even a pilot.
However
Linking Words
, Australian authorities prohibit
residents
Use synonyms
 from
workingwork
Correct your spelling
working
 after 60 in several professions,
such
Linking Words
 as law and
military
Correct article usage
the military
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in some cases , working after the late 50s allows seniors to earn money and improve financial stability.
However
Linking Words
, if elderly
residents
Use synonyms
 continue to
work
Use synonyms
 after superannuation, it will bring more
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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 in finding jobs for recently graduated students.
As a result
Linking Words
, heads of young families will be in demand for
work
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, by hiring elderly workers,
work
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 efficiency and productivity of companies will gradually fall, because their health will not be able to adjust to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 high speed in working workplace.
Therefore
Linking Words
 incomes of the company will fall, unless old people retire from
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, companies in Andorra have the lowest incomes
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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over
Change preposition
in
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 the world in comparison to well-developed countries like China or Japan.
The
Correct determiner usage
Last
show examples
last
Linking Words
 but not least downside of allowing old
residents
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 is that it will fully block opportunities to identify young workers with incredible talent and working skills.
Thus
Linking Words
, the restriction to
work
Use synonyms
 after 60 has more beneficial sides than downsides. In conclusion, despite some financial benefits for older people, it might bring more troubles to
work
Use synonyms
 as it has negative effects on companies' income, young workers , and
also
Linking Words
 it will reduce
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency and performance.

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task
Task response: State a clear view and keep it. Balance points for and against with full detail.
coherence
Coherence: Use clear paragraph links and a topic sentence for each paragraph.
content
Examples: Use one or two strong examples that fit your point and explain how they help.
structure
There is a clear idea that old people working can affect young workers.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist in the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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