IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people argue that the Olympic Games have significant benefits for the host country while others believe they are a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

I n
Use the right word
In
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 recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that international
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 competitions like
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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Games
Use synonyms
 contribute several
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 to
Correct article usage
the organized
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organized
Use the right word
organised
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 country.
However
Linking Words
, some argue that
this
Linking Words
 kind of
event
Use synonyms
 is unworthy of
money
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will examine both views and provide my opinion. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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Games
Use synonyms
 could lead to numerous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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to
Change preposition
for
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host
Correct article usage
the host
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 country. Generally, numerous
people
Use synonyms
 from all around the world will attend
to
Change preposition
apply
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the competition
event
Use synonyms
for watching
Change preposition
to watch
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 the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 competition or
for taking
Change preposition
to take
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 care of their athletes. So, it means more foreign tourists come to visit that destination.
This
Linking Words
 results directly in
Correct article usage
the tourist
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tourist
Replace the word
tourism
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 and hospitality industry because they could earn more
money
Use synonyms
 from those visitors. When
people
Use synonyms
 in
th
Correct your spelling
the
 nation gain more
money
Use synonyms
, they can afford what they want to increase their quality of life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
event
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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Games
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
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normally
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 no longer than three months.
However
Linking Words
, becoming a grand
event
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
at
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international
Correct article usage
an international
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 level must be invested
Change preposition
with abandance
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abandance
Correct your spelling
abundance
 of
money
Use synonyms
. Not only
money
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 the venue as property assets that have to be renovated and prepared for more than a year. So, it makes some
people
Use synonyms
 think about
unworthy
Replace the word
the unworthiness
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 of
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
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 budget for a
short term
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short-term
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of
Change preposition
apply
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event
Use synonyms
. If the government or
relevated shakeholders
Correct your spelling
relevant stakeholders
 allocate financial support or invest in an
event
Use synonyms
 in a venue, several
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
may have less benefit from cutting
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
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. In conclusion, I believe that
Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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Games
Use synonyms
 should
coninue
Correct your spelling
continue
. Even though it
maybe
Use the right word
may be
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very
Correct article usage
a very
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 expensive
event
Use synonyms
, it can promote the country and impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 soft power.

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development
State your view clearly at once and keep it in one place. Use clear points for each idea.
organization
Link ideas with simple words. Put each idea in its own paragraph and use 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so', 'however' carefully.
language
Check spelling and small grammar mistakes that hide your meaning.
content
The essay talks about both sides and gives an opinion.
structure
Some linking words show how ideas are connected.
coverage
The essay is long enough to cover the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • international exposure
  • long-term benefits
  • infrastructure improvements
  • national pride
  • cultural exchange
  • financial investment
  • massive debt
  • white elephants
  • underutilized structures
  • influx of tourists
  • heightened security measures
  • overcrowding
What to do next:
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