IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Financially intelligent
Replace the word
Financial intelligence
show examples
one
Verb problem
is one
show examples
 of the most important and influential
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 in life,
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 which depend
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of things in people’s lives. People do not understand how work
money
Use synonyms
,for citizens it’s very easy,you work to make
money
Use synonyms
,after spend
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. But
don’t
Verb problem
not
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 enough
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about finance can not
give
Verb problem
guarantee
show examples
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
 of your capital,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is not good. Being financially stable means knowing,understanding and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 good at using your revenue. You mustn’t be
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
business man
Use the right word
businessman
show examples
 or have your own company ,anyone
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to know basic
knowledge
Use synonyms
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 right use
dough
Check wording
money correctly
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
come
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
experience
Correct article usage
the experience
show examples
 of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
,but in 2025 we can research
Correct article usage
the experience
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 someone else to
get lesson
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 from
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. If
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 give students (teenagers) even
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 education about
money
Use synonyms
,it would grow
generation
Correct article usage
a generation
show examples
 that can help
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Check wording
country's
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 economy .From
childhood
Punctuation problem
childhood,
show examples
 we spend different
scale
Fix the agreement mistake
scales
show examples
 of cash,it
upbringing
Verb problem
upraises
show examples
 us to save
money
Use synonyms
 for something big,spend less ,economy them,pay for time and etc. School can be
bridge
Correct article usage
a bridge
show examples
 between teens who
into
Verb problem
are into
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and grow them
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 who understand what
need
Correct pronoun usage
they need
show examples
 to do with
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
,because financial stability depends
on not
Correct word order
not on
show examples
 salary, but on spending
money
Use synonyms
. All processes like
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 credit,
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 by card ,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 cash-back,
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
deposit
Correct article usage
a deposit
show examples
 by percentage and etc have
system
Correct article usage
a system
show examples
 and understanding
this
Linking Words
 to make
money
Use synonyms
,save or even spend them successfully ,
need to study
Wrong verb form
requires studying
show examples
 how
round
Verb problem
to handle
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 .
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 do not understand,do not want
puzzle
Verb problem
to puzzle
show examples
out
Correct pronoun usage
it out
show examples
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
walk
Correct pronoun usage
they walk
show examples
 away from
this
Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
thinking
Punctuation problem
, thinking
show examples
 they
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 good at math & it is not their topic. Again,if
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 give
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 opportunities for
knowledge
Use synonyms
,give understanding that everyone should study at least
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 level,it would make
county
Correct article usage
the county
show examples
 economy
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
better by
solid
Correct article usage
a solid
show examples
 effect

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task
Clarify your main point in the first paragraph and keep it simple.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas go together.
content
Give one or two clear examples to back up your idea.
grammar
Check the grammar and make each sentence short and clear.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
content
You stay on the topic of money and schools.
idea
The idea of money teaching is clear and relevant.
content
You use some simple examples about daily life.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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