IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not unhealthy but affect the nature too. Do you think the advantages of GM food outweigh the drawbacks?

With the increasing population, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 increased extensively,
therefore
Linking Words
, encouraging people to look for
alternates
Replace the word
alternatives
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as genetically engineered edibles to meet
this
Linking Words
 requirement.
However
Linking Words
, there are many individuals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 kinds of supplies are unhealthy for individuals
as well as
Linking Words
 hazardous for the environment. I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point, and will explicate my view
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. To commence with, the genetically engineered
food
Use synonyms
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
 the nutritional value of the
field grown
Use the right word
field-grown
show examples
 crops.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 stuff cannot provide health benefits to individuals, who
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will still face various vitamin and mineral deficiencies. The growing children are most affected by taking these artificially prepared
Use synonyms
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
, because
this
Linking Words
 meal is not wholesome,
hence
Linking Words
, hinders
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
overall
Linking Words
 development of the child.
For example
Linking Words
, Rickets, a common disease in
kids
Punctuation problem
kids,
show examples
 is caused because of the
calcium-deficiency
Use the right word
deficiency
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 popularity of
powder
Replace the word
powdered
show examples
 milk, and less intake of natural cow milk.
However
Linking Words
, every coin has two sides
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 there are
also
Linking Words
 certain benefits of the GM
food
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 items are prepared in labs without any use of pesticides and artificial
fertilizers
Use the right word
fertilisers
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
thsi
Correct your spelling
this
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us to avoid soil pollution and various health hazards
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 masses.
For instance
Linking Words
, some pesticides are known to be
trigger
Fix the agreement mistake
triggers
show examples
 for diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as cancer, and can be avoided by the consumption of GM crops. Conclusively, there are both positive and negative ramifications of using
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 consuming
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can help us avoid various diseases, not using it helps us to maintain a natural balance of nutrients in the body. Henceforth, I believe that we should use naturally grown
food
Use synonyms
 as much as possible.

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Task response
State your view at once and say if the good points of GM food beat the bad ones.
Task response
Add more solid facts and clear proof for each point.
Coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas go together.
Structure
Make each paragraph focus on one idea only.
Language
Check grammar and spell words the right way.
Content
The essay has a clear view and a plan.
Structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
Evidence
Some examples are given.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
  • crop yield
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • pesticides
  • herbicides
  • biodiversity
  • cross-contamination
  • novel genes
  • public perception
  • transparency
  • economic benefits
What to do next:
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