IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
let
Verb problem
allow
show examples
 the old
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 until they want.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that some
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
for anytime
Rephrase
whenever
show examples
 they need to get
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument
opposes
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
show examples
 it
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 my opinion, I consider that the young employees make the
compnany
Correct your spelling
company
 grow. 
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some countries hire
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 to allow the company and government to gain a lot of money by
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 them
work
Use synonyms
 24 hours 7 days.
In other words
Linking Words
, the shops need a fresh guy with experience to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the old
people
Use synonyms
 start from
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time that will cause less ability.
For example
Linking Words
, my grandfather
ratired
Correct your spelling
retired
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009
due to
Linking Words
 diabetes
he
Punctuation problem
; he
show examples
 can not
work
Use synonyms
 any more.  Another point to consider, the hospital has expert doctors who have a lot of experience to support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that the professors have more value to the company or the government.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that teaching your sons and daughters becomes more memorable.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study said that if you learned
more
Punctuation problem
more,
show examples
 you will gain more.  In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that the countries should focus on the youngest
people
Use synonyms
 will give them more time and save costs. I prefer having time to study well,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 opportunity will give me money.

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task
Plan your ideas in one clear plan before you write. State your view in the first line, then give 2 or 3 main points.
structure
Make your points clear in each part. Keep one main idea in each part and say why it matters.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas go up, down and end. This helps flow.
examples
Give one good example for each point. Do not rely on long or unclear claims.
grammar
Check the spelling of words and fix big errors so the meaning is clear.
content
There is an effort to show both sides.
structure
There is an effort to use early and late parts (introduction and conclusion).

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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