IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money.

Many
nation
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nations
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 argue that
,
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apply
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 the main reason for working hard is to earn a lot of
bill
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money
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. It is true that
,
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apply
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 capital plays a vital role in
bodies’s
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people’s
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 lives because it helps them to meet their needs and improve their living standards.
However
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, I believe that,
while
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 fund is a strong motivation, there are
also
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 other fundamental reasons why folk work hard. Nowadays, many
crowd
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people
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 are used to working hard every day because
,
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apply
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 they want to achieve financial freedom. Financial income is essential because it allows individuals to cover daily expenses, properly support their family and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle.
Moreover
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, many
community
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communities
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 are afraid of lacking capital and living in poverty
,
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apply
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, so they are ready to move to another developing country in order to earn a better income.
On the other hand
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, certain
community
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communities
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 think another and they are motivated by hard work because they want to achieve great success in their career.
For instance
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, their aim is to become well-known and respected individuals ,
such
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 as scientists or wise leaders. Their goal is not only to build a great career, but they
also
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 desire to contribute to society by inventing new technologies, developing their country, solving global issues and creating ultra-modern inventions that provide many useful comforts for community living better. In conclusion, even though many
family
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families
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 see salary as the main motivation for working hard, others are inspired by the desire for success and progress. From my standpoint, working hard should not only be aimed at achieving financial stability, but
also
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 contribute to the development of society. Ultimately, by setting clear goals in the right direction,
public
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the public
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 can achieve both personal success and financial freedom.

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structure
Make the plan clear. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a simple topic sentence.
content
Give clear examples to show your points.
language
Fix grammar and use short, easy sentences.
task
State your own view in a clear line at the end and link it to the task.
coherence
The essay shows a view on both sides of the issue.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
clarity
The idea is easy to follow in some places.
content
There are tries to give reasons and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
What to do next:
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