IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some would argue
that
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that,
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as well as
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 gaining profits,
companies
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 have a social commitment to the community. I disagree with
this
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 statement because
companies
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 invest
money
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 to give work to people and pay
taxes
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, so the public administration is responsible for social
activities
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. On one hand, the function of a business is investing
money
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 in infrastructure for the
company
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 and giving work to people and fair salaries to them. The
company
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 needs to recover the
money
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 that it has invested and have a profit to do more investments in the future, which creates more positions and indirectly gives a better quality of life to the employees. The
company
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 where I work has 65 employees, and the owners pay salaries and benefits
like
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, like
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 bonuses and health insurance. To retain the employees and the
benefit
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benefits
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, the
company
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 needs to gain
money
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; contrary to
this
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, it is impossible to keep the
company
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 working.
On the other hand
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,
companies
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 pay a lot of
money
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 in
taxes
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;
nonetheless
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,
this
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 does not mean they have a social function. The
government
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 has the responsibility to assist the community and provide social
activities
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 to people. If
companies
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 are forced to do social
activities
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, they need to pay fewer
taxes
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.
For example
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,
The
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the
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Coca Cola
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Coca-Cola
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company
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 pays fewer
taxes
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 to the
government
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, but the
company
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 sponsors many sports
activities
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, and part of their profits
goes
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go
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 to social events to benefit the community. Other
companies
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 like
McDonalds
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McDonald's
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 have foundations to assist children with cancer. All these social
activities
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 could not be
realized
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realised
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 if the
government
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 did not reduce
taxes
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.
To conclude
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, the primary activity of a business is to invest and gain
money
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; they do not have to do social
activities
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 unless the
government
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 reduces their tax payments. Contrary to
this
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, it is impossible that some
companies
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 can afford social responsibilities.

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task response
Be clear what you think at the start and stay with that view in all parts of the essay.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph and give a simple reason and a simple example.
content
Check that each claim can be seen or proved with a small fact or good reason.
position
Your view on the topic is clear from the start.
examples
You give examples to show your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
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