IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: Some parents believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both sides

There is no denying the fact that it the important to learning mathematics at school.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some parents think that teaching math at school helps develop skills. There is
also
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 an argument that mathematics is not beneficial.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, some companies need to hire people who know finance.
In other words
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, the accounting majors are the most valuable thing
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due
Change preposition
apply
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to the government
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such
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, such
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 as banks, companies, and shops.
In addition
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, if you keep improving your math
skills
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skills,
show examples
 you will get more opportunities to work.
For example
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, a study showed that several people had been employed by the best company.
On the other hand
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, there are different majors
such
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 as marketing, business administration, and Human Resources
leading
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, leading
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 creation of jobs. It is possible to say that learning something new is a better idea for the person
not
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, not
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 only maths,
while
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 there are other ways to develop.
Moreover
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, the AI will help the world to understand and make the mathematical process easier.
For instance
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, my uncle had a talent for making any kind of math by using his brain to calculate
which
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, which
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 helped him to save a lot of time and effort, In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question
,
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;
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 on balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that I prefer to learn more about the subject that will help your life rather than just learn one major.

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structure
Plan your answer with a real intro, two body parts, and a clear ending. State your view at the end.
content
Give a clear reason for each side and add one or two good examples that are easy to see.
language
Use short, simple sentences and useful linking words to show order (first, next, finally). Check your grammar and spelling.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
structure
Some links to life and jobs are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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