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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990.

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990.
The line graph illustrates the
consumption
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 of fast food in Britain in three varieties: hamburger,
fish
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 and
chips
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, and
pizza
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;
Punctuation problem
,
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 between 1970 and 1990. The unit is measured in
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, Hamburger and
fish
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 &
chips
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 figures demonstrated an upward trend over twenty decades,
while
Linking Words
 the total
consumption
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 of
pizza
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is
Verb problem
apply
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declined gradually and recorded the lowest level throughout the period. Examining the
fish
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 &
chips
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 data,
initially
Linking Words
, people in Britain consumed
fish
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 &
chips
Use synonyms
 around 99 in 1970, rising moderately to approximately 170 in 1980. Most notably, it reached its peak at 500 in 1990, which was the highest
consumption
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 of
junkfood
Correct your spelling
junk food
 throughout the decade.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the total
consumption
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 of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
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also
Linking Words
 presented an increasing trend, starting at approximately 30 and increasing sharply to almost 100 in 1980. It rose significantly again from 100 in 1985 to 300
in
Change preposition
by
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 the end of the period.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
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pizza
Correct article usage
the pizza
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 metric showed a downward pattern. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 people mostly consumed
pizza
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 in the initial year around 300, its total
consumption
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 illustrated a significant
declining
Check wording
decline
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 to just around 200. eventually, it levelled off until 1990, and recorded as the lowest
consumption
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 of
junkfood
Correct your spelling
junk food
 in 1990.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, fish, chips, pizza with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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