IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The graph illustrates the
proportion
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 of Australian
exports
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 to
Japan
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, the US,
China
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 and
India
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 between 1990 and 2012. In 1990, the highest exporting country was
Japan
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, with around 28%,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest nation was
India
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, with approximately 2%.
In addition
Linking Words
, at the same time, the United States was the second highest exporting country, with around 13%, and the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to
China
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 was approximately 3%.
However
Linking Words
, in 1995, both
Japan
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 and America declined significantly, with 20% and around 9% respectively,
while
Linking Words
Australia
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Australia's
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exported
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exports
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 to
China
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 slowly increased to around 4%. In 2005, compared to the US, which decreased dramatically to around 8%, the
proportion
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 of
exporting
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exports
show examples
 to
Japan
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 declined steadily. Simultaneously, the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to
China
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 exceeded the USA, becoming the second highest exporting nation in Australia, with 15%.
Besides
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, the
proportion
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 of
exports
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 to
India
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 increased slowly as well,
with
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by
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 7%. It is noticeable that in 2010,
China
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 exceeded
Japan
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, becoming the largest exporting country in Australia. In 2012, the
percentage
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 of
exporting
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exports
show examples
 to
China
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 climbed to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 30%,
while
Linking Words
 there was a declining trend in
exporting
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exports
show examples
 to
Japan
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, with approximately 18%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic drop in the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to the United States, with around 7%,
while
Linking Words
 the
proportion
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 of
exports
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 to
India
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 increased slowly, with about 6%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, exports, japan, china, india, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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