IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If a product is good can meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertisement in the media is no more than form of entertainment. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion?

Several members of society argue that, if
products
Use synonyms
 are useful, advertising is no more essential.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
advertisements
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in many fields, especially for the latest
products
Use synonyms
. In today's world, a vast majority of individuals believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 popular and well-established
products
Use synonyms
 do not require advertising. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 society
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 used to using these things
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cars, daily essentials and well-known
products
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Chevrolet, Coca-Cola, Fanta and other popular
items
Use synonyms
 are really famous among
customers
Use synonyms
. Naturally, these things are regularly advertised in diverse ways, which can increase people's trust again. There is a school of thought that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 newly introduced
products
Use synonyms
 fundamentally depend on
advertisements
Use synonyms
 because they lack public recognition.
Moreover
Linking Words
, unless people
aware
Verb problem
are aware
show examples
 of these
items
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
 can not attract a considerable number of
customers
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many companies need to rely on
advertisements
Use synonyms
 to promote their
products
Use synonyms
 effectively. It is obvious that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 each advertisement is extremely essential in order to perfectly introduce these
items
Use synonyms
 to consumers.
However
Linking Words
, currently, a lot of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are not popular among
customers
Use synonyms
 because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 are not good or do not have a normal quality.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will not become a famous product among
customers
Use synonyms
, even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they have diverse interesting
advertisements
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I do not have a doubt that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 regular
products
Use synonyms
 do not require many different
advertisements
Use synonyms
 ;
however
Linking Words
, new
items
Use synonyms
 absolutely depend on promotions in order to attract
customers
Use synonyms
' attention.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I perfectly agree that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 businesses should adopt innovative and creative marketing strategies not only to capture the attention of potential buyers but
also
Linking Words
 to build long-term customer loyalty.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Plan your work. State your view in the first sentence and give two or three clear reasons in order.
improvement
Use simple and clear grammar. Watch for mistakes with commas and long joined sentences.
structure
Use separate paragraphs for each idea. Start with a topic sentence that gives the main idea.
content
Tie each point to your view with a short explain and example that link to your view.
strength
The essay shows a clear view and tries to discuss both sides.
strength
Examples like Coca-Cola and Fanta are used to show well-known brands.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: