IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in city, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in the countryside . Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in city comapred with living in countrysides?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, living in either city or
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 has become one of the most debatable
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer living in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 would argue that living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a better lifestyle owing to having more opportunities regarding work and educational
departments
Check wording
opportunities
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. In my context, living in big
cities
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more opportunities for young
people
Use synonyms
, especially for students and job seekers.
To begin
Linking Words
, there are several advantages of living in big
cities
Use synonyms
. Let's start with education
first,
Linking Words
there is no doubt that most of the
cities
Use synonyms
 provide an excellent platform for learners and students because of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of qualified teachers and bigger universities and colleges.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a large number of
population
Check wording
people
show examples
 like to live in big
cities
Use synonyms
 to meet their educational needs. The second reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is the ease of access to highly equipped hospitals and medicines. Many
people
Use synonyms
 travel from
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
 to get treatment that only big
cities
Use synonyms
 provide.
For example
Linking Words
, Cancer patients require daily monitoring of their health
along with
Linking Words
 radiation therapy, which is only
avaialbe
Correct your spelling
available
 in big
cities
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they have to live in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, patients
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 require dialysis can only be treated in
cities
Use synonyms
 owing to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 better
equippment
Correct your spelling
equipment
. The other predominant reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
is to
show examples
 get better employment with decent wages, which is difficult to find in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , most of the
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 provide peaceful living, which
cities
Use synonyms
 can't.
For example
Linking Words
,
Air
Correct article usage
the Air
show examples
 quality index in
countryside
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 or small towns is relatively lower than
big
Change preposition
in big
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 who live in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 have better oxygen
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in their bodies because green trees and forests help to clean
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
 environment, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to inhale less number of toxins.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in small towns pay less for their bills and rents,
thus
Linking Words
 making living reasonable. Another perk of living in or near nature is having less noise pollution.
People
Use synonyms
 mostly travel
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
walk
Check wording
foot
show examples
 or
Change preposition
by bike
show examples
bike
Punctuation problem
bike,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 reduces air and noise pollution.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
Rephrase
apply
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of city life outweigh the disadvantages because urban
areas
Use synonyms
 provide most
facilities
Punctuation problem
facilities,
show examples
ranges
Wrong verb form
ranging
show examples
 from health to educational
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 difficult to find in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line of the essay.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear idea sentence.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'so'.
task response
Use more specific examples from real life or data.
grammar
Check spelling and small mistakes to keep good flow.
task response
The essay has a clear view and sticks to it most of the time.
coherence
There are clear parts: intro, body and a closing.
lexical
The writer uses examples to show points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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