Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new town rather shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowdays
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
think
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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better to build public gardens and do exercise than go to shopping malls.In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will
say
Verb problem
share
show examples
my opinion and
if
Change preposition
whether
show examples
I
am
Verb problem
apply
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agree or disagree.
First,
Linking Words
a lot of
people
Use synonyms
prefer
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
shopping
than do
Change preposition
to doing
show examples
sports. But for
real
Punctuation problem
real,
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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sport
Use synonyms
is more
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
and your
health
Use synonyms
than shopping.
For example
Linking Words
,
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise more than
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
love shopping the
person
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
who play
sport
Use synonyms
has good
health
Use synonyms
and
who
Check wording
people who
show examples
shop
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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bad
health
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who
committed
Verb problem
are committed
show examples
to
Use synonyms
sport haven't
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsn't have
show examples
chronic diseases .
In contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
haven't
Verb problem
who don't
show examples
play
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
have a lot of issues like obesity disease because they prefer shopping
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, what you love more, but it's not a big problem if you go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
for our
Use synonyms
health
Add a comma
health,
show examples
it's a big
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
shopping. We can do it online
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
sports we can't.
Also
Linking Words
, if we visit
parks
Punctuation problem
parks,
show examples
we have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oxygen. Let us feel more cheerful. In conclusion, in my opinion, I would say I am agree with what
people
Use synonyms
think about
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
more public parks, and
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
facilities and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
town rather
shopping
Correct word choice
than shopping
show examples
malls.
Such
Linking Words
as our
health
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
important than any shop.
However
Linking Words
, we should build more gardens to we
benefit
Verb problem
can benefit
show examples
from oxygen and from
nutral
Correct your spelling
nutrients
.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use four parts: intro, two body ideas, and a short conclusion.
content
Say your view in the first line and keep it in the rest of the essay.
content
Give two clear reasons and simple facts or examples to back them.
grammar
Fix bad word order and grammar. For example, start with 'Nowadays' and 'It is better' not 'is more better'.
vocabulary
Use short words from common use. Try to stay in the top 100 common words.
cohesion
Link ideas with small words like First, Also, But, In conclusion.
content
Your view is clear: you say yes to parks and sports.
content
You say health is a reason in your idea.
organization
There is a basic plan with intro, body, and conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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