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Band 4.5

Nowadays , after many changes in the strategy of education , many students , after graduation from high school, educate in another country. There are positive advantage and negative disadvantage . Both of them are very important and need todiscussed . This assay will mention both points of view.

Nowadays , after many changes in the strategy of
education
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 , many
students
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 , after graduating from high school, are educated in another country. There are positive advantages and negative disadvantages.
Both
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 of them are very important and need to be discussed.
This
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 assay will mention
both
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points
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 of view. On the one hand,in terms of advantages, there are many common advantages .
First,
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education
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 in another city is a hard personal experience . Many studies confirmed that 90% of
students
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 feel well
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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when they work hard outside of their comfort zone .
For
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example
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, the highly confident work and the highly socially intelligent activity are the best positive
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
. Nowadays
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 , after many changes in the strategy of
education
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 , many
students
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 , after
graduation
Replace the word
graduating
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 from high school,
educate
Wrong verb form
are educated
show examples
 in another country. There are positive
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 and negative
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
Both
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 of them are very important and need
Verb problem
to be todiscussed
show examples
todiscussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
.
This
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 assay will mention
both
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points
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 of view.
points
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 .
Second,
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studying outside is a wonderful learning
.
Check wording
experience.
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 It helps them to learn more than study .
For
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example
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, cooking food , solving problems and saving money .
Moreover
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,
according to
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 the Kuwait
education
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 study (2024), 70% of
students
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 have a stronger learning experience
due to
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 studying outside the city.
Finally
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, studying outside creates a powerful life.
For
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example
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, it helps
students
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 save themselves.
On the other hand
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, in terms of disadvantages ,
firstly
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, preventing the family gathering is a famous disadvantage .
For
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example
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,
students
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 lose the happy time in Ramadan and Eid .
Moreover
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,
according to
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 the French Academic experiment (2023),70%؜ of
students
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 feel sad
due to
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 the prevention of the family party .
Secondly
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, the high fees are the hardest disadvantage .
For
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example
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, the high cost of the live , the food and the book .
Finally
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, the overthinking is the affective action .
For
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example
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 ,
students
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 feel tired and eat too much if they have a hard exam.
As a result
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, it will affect their body and their brain . In conclusion, increasing the positive aspect and decreasing the negative aspect will improve the positive
points
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 , with a better future

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task
For task response, state a clear view in the intro and keep it in the body. Explain your ideas with clear reasons and simple examples. End with a short conclusion that sums up your view.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, make the flow smooth. Use simple linking words like and, but, also, first, then. Keep each idea in its own paragraph and use topic sentences.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
evidence
Examples are used to show ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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