IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table depicts the information about
student
Use synonyms
 enrolments at
Manchester
Use synonyms
 University between 1937,1967
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 2017.
Summarize
Use the right word
Summarise
show examples
 and
compression
Replace the word
compress
show examples
 where relevant. Looking at the graph from
general
Correct article usage
a general
show examples
 perspective. The table in three years, the new students enrolled
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from 327 in 1937 to 6254 in 2017.
This
Linking Words
 table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
Manchester
Use synonyms
universities
Check wording
University's
show examples
student
Use synonyms
 enrolments.
Use synonyms
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 it's
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
in 1937 it was 45%
decrease
Replace the word
decreased
show examples
 in 1967 to 35% and
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 55% in 2017.
While
Linking Words
,
percentage
Use synonyms
 of males decrease in 1937 It was 55%
increase
Use synonyms
 to 65% in 1967 decrease in 2017 from 55% to 45%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 , the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 from within 40 miles of
Manchester
Use synonyms
 dropped from 1937 to 2017
in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
1937
Punctuation problem
1937,
show examples
 it was 55% and in
2017
Punctuation problem
2017,
show examples
it's be
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 1-2%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Manchester
Use synonyms
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 quite a lot of
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from
out
Replace the word
overseas
show examples
 in 2017. In 1937
percentage
Use synonyms
came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
 from overseas was 6% from only 4 countries
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 1967
Punctuation problem
, being
show examples
being
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 7% from 26 countries.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in 2017
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
32%. 102 students from several countries.
At the
Linking Words
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of students
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Manchester
Use synonyms
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words student, manchester, increase, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment numbers
  • increase/decrease in student numbers
  • post-war baby boom
  • globalization
  • technological advancement
  • education accessibility
  • demographic changes
  • overseas students
  • gender representation in education
  • international reputation
  • higher education
  • university capacity
  • social factors
  • economic influences
  • political factors
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