IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the amount of noise people make have to be controlled strictly, others say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The
noise
Use synonyms
 causes
the
Correct article usage
a
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 debate between public interests and personal freedom.
While
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 strict control may protect public health and promote social harmony, unrestricted
noise
Use synonyms
 is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a form of self-expression.
This
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 essay will examine
Correct word choice
and discusses
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discusses
Correct subject-verb agreement
discuss
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 both sides of
this
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 issue. On the one hand, too many excessive sounds which are made by
people
Use synonyms
 should be restricted seriously.
This
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 demand would be beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 from all walks of life in
this
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 society.
First,
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according to
Change preposition
apply
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with respect to the Association for the Study of Concentration in Adolescents, it has reported that concentration can be facilitated at less than 40 decibels.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to reduce the decibels near the school, especially when the students are participating in relatively important exams.
Secondly
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, the research report of
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
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 Academy of Sciences stated that the elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in Shanghai
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
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 that those living near main roads have a 12 per cent higher incidence of cardiovascular disease than those in quiet areas.
Thus
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, reducing
noise
Use synonyms
 not only lessens the possibility of
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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certain diseases, but
also
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 significantly improves the sleep quality of the elderly.
Besides
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, controlling
noise
Use synonyms
 could
also
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 avoid the contradiction between the neighbours
,
Punctuation problem
;
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otherwise
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, it would cause a large number of judicial sources to deal with these disputes.
On the other hand
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, everyone has
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own equal freedom to make
noise
Use synonyms
 as they wish. “All men are created equal”, the Declaration of Independence represents. In
this
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 light,
for example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 could feel pleasure and seek excitement
while
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 making louder
noise
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 playing JD music and screaming out loud in the club. Apart from its advantage of releasing the complex emotions, it is
also
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 vital for some
people
Use synonyms
 in danger to cry for help
on occasion
Check wording
in the event
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 of
earthquake
Correct article usage
an earthquake
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. Since loudly asking for help may
a
Verb problem
have a
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greater chance of being found by rescue teams and enhance the likelihood of survival.
In addition
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, some
music
Check wording
apply
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musical instruments are likely to play horrible sounds
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 when children first play a new song;
however
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, these noises are the sounds of dreams. In summary,
although
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noise
Use synonyms
 can express freedom, emergencies and dreams, its harm to education and health problems. Governments should limit
noise
Use synonyms
 near schools and homes but allow it in entertainment areas.
This
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 balances both community needs and individual rights.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use four parts: intro, two sides, and a short conclusion. Each para has one main idea.
grammar
Use simple grammar and short sentences. Fix errors like 'discuss discusses'.
coherence
Use link words to move ideas. Words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so' help.
evidence
Give clear facts or real study ideas. Say 'a study shows' instead of many new names.
vocabulary
Use only common words. Do not use big or hard words.
structure
End with a short clear conclusion that restates your view.
content
A clear view at the end once read.
content
Has both sides and a lot of detail.
content
Some data and examples are used.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
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