IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should spend money on the arts, such as music and theatre. Others argue that this money would be better spent on public services like healthcare and education.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 assert that public money should be invested in
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
this
Linking Words
 money should be better spent on public services
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and education. I believe that taxes should be oriented towards all citizens'
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 on services
such
Linking Words
 as
health
Use synonyms
 and education.
People
Use synonyms
 claim that public money should be invested in culture
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as music and
theatre
Punctuation problem
theatre,
show examples
 because
this
Linking Words
 represents the cultural aspects of a country. Musicians need help to be trained
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 sometimes they do not have
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
 to pay for professional training. If artists had support
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their development, they would be able to represent their country or city.
For instance
Linking Words
, the New York opera is
world wide
Use the right word
worldwide
show examples
recognized
Use the right word
recognised
show examples
 for being the best, but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 only a few are chosen
due to
Linking Words
 the skills that are required.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though it is mandatory to have social security or
insurance
Punctuation problem
insurance,
show examples
 it is well known that access to
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is not equally granted. Most
people
Use synonyms
 can not afford to pay
due to
Linking Words
 unemployment or financial
drawbacks
Check wording
constraints
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, advanced
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is very expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 patients have to afford to pay part of the treatment.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if a person has a car crash
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 on the
traumas
Fix the agreement mistake
trauma
show examples
,
Intensive
Correct article usage
an Intensive
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 unit will be required
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is very expensive and many
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 pay
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 would help. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 even though investing in culture is important, it is important to decide where taxes are going to be paid
, ever
Punctuation problem
. Ever
show examples
 since
people
Use synonyms
 expect them to be well managed by local authorities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 social issues and
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is where it is needed the most.

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task
Give a clear plan in the intro: state your view and the order of the main ideas.
coherence
Topic sentences start each paragraph and link to the prompt.
grammar
Use simple grammar and fix common errors; check spelling (worldwide, car crash, etc.).
content
Provide stronger, specific examples and explain how they support your point.
content
Clear view on why money should be spent on health and education.
coherence
Some good links and examples used.
task
Good attempt to compare two sides.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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