IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, young people are facing difficulties finding suitable employment after completing their education. What are the main causes of this problem, and what solutions can be suggested to overcome it?

In recent years, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
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amount
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number
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 of young
graduates
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 cannot find suitable
jobs
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.
This
Linking Words
 issue has become particularly severe among youth, leading to more unemployed citizens.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 problem and propose effective solutions to address it. One major cause of young people facing employment difficulties is the lack of
jobs
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 in the country or city they are in.
This
Linking Words
 is because a huge
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amount
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number
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 of
students
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 compete for a few available
jobs
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if a city provides 50 thousand medical
graduates
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 a year with only 10 thousand
availble
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available
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jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 seats,
this
Linking Words
 city would struggle with
unemploymed
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unemployed
 citizens. Another contributing factor is the huge
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amount
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number
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 of
graduates
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 in the same major, when too
much
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many
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students
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 are in the same
majorthe
Correct your spelling
the
 most likely result is the difficulties in employment for youths. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, one effective measure would be
puting
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putting
 a limit
for
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on
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 the
quantity
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number
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 of
students
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 in one major per year.
This
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 approach would make the
students
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 enter another major.
For instance
Linking Words
, if too many
students
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 are into
engeneering
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engineering
,
puting
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putting
 a limit
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
engeneering
Correct your spelling
engineering
 major would solve the problem by making
graduates
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 compete
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other available
jobs
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. In conclusion, youth employment difficulties
stems
Correct subject-verb agreement
stem
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 from the huge
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amount
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number
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 of
appliers
Replace the word
applicants
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to
Change preposition
for
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 the same kind of job.
However
Linking Words
, it can be alleviated through limiting the
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amount
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number
show examples
 of applications in each major. With concerted efforts from governments, it is possible to reduce the severity of the problem and improve
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 quality of life.

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language
Fix big spelling and grammar so it is easy to read.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear point, then add a short example.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other, like and, but, also, and for example.
task
In the introduction, say what you will talk about and in the conclusion restate it.
content
Give more real and fair examples and check numbers.
structure
The essay has a clear plan to talk about causes and a fix.
content
There is a real example of many grads and few jobs.
content
The idea of limiting majors is stated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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