IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

In today's
fast-pase
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
 world, quite a few folks would rather have a
life
Use synonyms
 in their
hometown
Use synonyms
 than travel far away. There are
understandble
Correct your spelling
understandable
 factors for
this
Linking Words
 preference, and the option
also
Linking Words
 has benefits and drawbacks.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 crowd, who opt
staying
Wrong verb form
to stay in
show examples
familiar
Correct article usage
a familiar
show examples
 place, usually are not good with education and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ambitions
Fix the agreement mistake
ambition
show examples
.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
 people are talented at learning,
often
Correct pronoun usage
they often
show examples
 have opportunities to go
big
Change preposition
to big
show examples
 cities and find decent employment there.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will never come back.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
opposit
Check wording
other hand
show examples
, folks who are not able to be liberated have to live
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
originaly
Correct your spelling
original
birth place
Use the right word
birthplace
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, they didn't have big dreams since they were children.
For example
Linking Words
, my brother wouldn't like to go
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
 since
kindergartin
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
, and he had no intention to become wealthy and successful. Every sword has two sides. To
run
Verb problem
live
show examples
 a
life
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
your hometown
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has upsides and downsides. The positive points could be having a comfortable
life
Use synonyms
 without too much effort.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
gandparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
 and parents generation have already
accomluated
Correct your spelling
accumulated
 a certain resource
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
,
such
Linking Words
 as
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
 house,
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
show examples
, and social
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
;
therefore
Linking Words
, the young generation living
hometown
Use synonyms
 doesn't need
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 so hard as if those go to
expensive
Correct article usage
an expensive
show examples
 urban area.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those small town residents may have a pretty
bland
Punctuation problem
bland,
show examples
 ordinary
life
Use synonyms
, compared with those who run nationwide and worldwide. Since tiny cities neither have modern industries,
nore
Correct your spelling
nor
 a
largar
Correct your spelling
larger
 number of citizens;
as a result
Linking Words
, lifestyles tend to be simple and less competitive. Actually, I have a few primary school classmates living in my
hometown
Use synonyms
, who have complained that their
life
Use synonyms
 is boring
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
my
Correct pronoun usage
mine
show examples
. In conclusion, I
repect
Correct your spelling
respect
 every individual choice about where to live, but typically, those who choose to live close to their original family are not that intelligent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 acquiring knowledge and are
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 satisfied. Living in
Use synonyms
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
your hometown
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has pros and cons
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 people weigh it.

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organization
Plan your essay before you write. Start with why people stay near home. Then add two body parts for reasons and for good and bad points. End with a short conclusion.
coherence
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Use a clear topic sentence. Use linking words so the ideas fit together.
grammar
Check your grammar and fix big mistakes. Look at spelling and word form.
lexical
Use short, simple words from common lists. Avoid hard or long words.
content
Give clear, easy examples that support your points.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
The writer tries to show both sides (pros and cons).
content
There is a personal example that shows effort.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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