IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Others say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is often argued whether there should be
one
Use synonyms
 legal
system
Use synonyms
 in the world.
While
Linking Words
 sharing the same legal
system
Use synonyms
 can provide global relationships and enforce human rights, it may not only affect the culture of each
country
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 become impractical
due to
Linking Words
 the
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 between
countries
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, I believe that every
country
Use synonyms
 can share some universal regulations
while
Linking Words
 having
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
 legal systems. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, launching a universal
system
Use synonyms
 of law can
is
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 beneficial for
countries
Use synonyms
' global connection and
individual's
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 rights.
One
Use synonyms
 of the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
one
Use synonyms
 legal framework is that trade and travel can be easier. As the world
share
Correct subject-verb agreement
shares
show examples
 the same policies, it will create fairness for all
countries
Use synonyms
 to meet the standard to trade goods and travel between continents.
In addition
Linking Words
, if there is a
cooperated
Replace the word
cooperative
show examples
system
Use synonyms
,
countries
Use synonyms
 can protect their residents from discrimination.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, owning a legal framework can support a
country
Use synonyms
's identity and support their growth more
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
. Laws often reflect a
country
Use synonyms
's values, traditions, and history.
Therefore
Linking Words
, sharing the same
system
Use synonyms
 can erase the speciality of each
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 as they have to limit .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
standardizing
Use the right word
standardising
show examples
 regulations would affect the development of each nation.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are diverse
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 statuses and political systems around the world. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 imposing the same legal framework can protect citizens and support international relations, each
country
Use synonyms
 ought to build their own legal
system
Use synonyms
 as it reflects the
country
Use synonyms
's political status, economy, and social norms.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Add more clear examples and explanations for each idea to show why one system could work or not.
tip
Keep paragraphs focused; use one main idea per paragraph.
tip
Use simple linking words to connect ideas, like 'for example', 'also', 'however'.
improvement
Restate your view in the conclusion with a strong final line.
strength
A clear answer to the question is stated in the introduction.
strength
There is a structure with an 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: