IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Others say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

While
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 some
people
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 argue that a single legal
system
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 should be applied worldwide, others believe that each
country
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 should have its own legal
system
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before giving my opinion
at the end
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. On the
one
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 hand, those
people
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 who support a single legal
system
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 argue that it would promote global unity and fairness. A common legal framework could make international trade, travel, and communication much easier.
People
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 from different
countries
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 would have a clear understanding of the
laws
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, reducing misunderstandings or conflicts.
Furthermore
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, global issues like human rights violations, environmental concerns, and terrorism could be addressed more effectively.
For example
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,
according to
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 Vietnamese law, pod (a type of device similar to cigarettes, but easier to use and more popular among the younger generation) has been banned for all ages
due to
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 its harmful effects.
By contrast
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, in
countries
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 like the USA or Portugal, pods have not been banned, and
people
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 over 21 years old can legally use them.
However
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, if a person who is unaware of Vietnam's
laws
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 regarding pods travels there, they could be arrested without understanding that their
behavior
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behaviour
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 is illegal.
This
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 situation highlights how
travelers
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travellers
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 may face legal issues in foreign
countries
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 where certain actions, which are legal in their own
country
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, are prohibited.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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 idea argue that every
country
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 has its own unique culture, history, and values, which shape its legal
system
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. Imposing a single set of
laws
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 could ignore these differences and create conflicts like
for example
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,
laws
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 concerning family, religion, or social customs vary widely around the world
and
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, and
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 what is acceptable in
one
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country
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 may not be in another. A
system
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 that works well in
one
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 culture may not be suitable for another, which can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
misunderstanding between regions and nations
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 that
one
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 nation needs to have
there
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own law to protect not only the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 rights but
also
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 the social and economic
of
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interests of
show examples
 the
country
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.
Additionally
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,
countries
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 may want to maintain their sovereignty and independence, which would be threatened by a global legal
system
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. In my opinion,
while
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 having a unified legal
system
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 might bring some benefits, it is more practical and respectful to allow each
country
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 to have its own
laws
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.
Therefore
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, a balance can be struck between international cooperation on key issues,
such
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 as human rights and environmental protection,
while
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 still respecting the cultural differences that exist in each
country
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.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Put intro, two views, your opinion, then a short conclusion.
language
Watch small grammar. Some word forms are wrong, like 'there own' should be 'their own'. Use simple, plain words.
content
Use more clear examples that fit the view. The pods rule is not common as a real fact. Try to keep examples simple and true.
content
You discuss both sides and give your own view at the end.
structure
You use linking words to show ideas in steps.
content
Your final view is clear and stated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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