IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many city centers these days have traffic flow problems, causing congestion and pollution. One solution is to build fast ring roads on the outskirts of a city, taking traffic away from the centre. While this is helpful in some ways, it also causes new problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As
traffic
Use synonyms
 flow in
city
Use synonyms
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 worsens, many people believe the solution is fast ring
roads
Use synonyms
 on the outskirts of the
city
Use synonyms
 to ease congestion in the
city
Use synonyms
 centre.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 only moves problems like pollution and noise to the outer
city
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, by combining these
roads
Use synonyms
 with public
transport
Use synonyms
, ring
roads
Use synonyms
 can lighten
traffic
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, ring
roads
Use synonyms
 can reduce congestion by diverting
traffic
Use synonyms
 and leading to faster journeys for inner-
city
Use synonyms
 commuters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fewer cars mean less pollution and provide safer streets. Despite
this
Linking Words
, these benefits rely on good design and simplified connections to public
transport
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, ring
roads
Use synonyms
 redirect
traffic
Use synonyms
 to the outskirts, taking pollution and noise with them. Adding to
this
Linking Words
, costs and construction disruption can make
this
Linking Words
 a very demanding task for cities and possibly
also
Linking Words
 cause urban sprawl.
Therefore
Linking Words
, ring
roads
Use synonyms
 alone do not fix the problem. Notably, a combined strategy of ring
roads
Use synonyms
 and public
transport
Use synonyms
 is needed to solve
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems.
This
Linking Words
 can be achieved by ensuring ring
roads
Use synonyms
 link to railway and metro stations, creating safe cycling routes, or even introducing toll
roads
Use synonyms
 to control demand. In conclusion, ring
roads
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial if combined with public
transport
Use synonyms
 and its improvement.
This
Linking Words
 makes the implementation of ring
roads
Use synonyms
 partial and conditional.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Your answer shows a clear view, but add one strong idea in the intro and restate it in the end.
task
Use quick, simple links to show how ring roads and transport fit, and give a specific example or two.
coherence
Work on making the plan clear. Each part should have one main idea and a clear link to the next.
coherence
Keep to short, plain words. Use simple join words like but, and, so, because.
strength
The essay shows a good balance of view and gives a final idea that helps.
strength
The use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps show both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic
  • congestion
  • city
  • centre
  • outskirts
  • ring road
  • bypass
  • divert
  • reduce
  • ease
  • travel time
  • journey
  • commute
  • pollution
  • air
  • noise
  • safety
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • problem
  • cost
  • fund
  • build
  • plan
  • design
  • construct
  • maintain
  • manage
  • transport
  • public transport
  • bus
  • train
  • car
  • truck
  • heavy vehicle
  • cycl ing
  • pedestrian
  • policy
  • scheme
  • impact
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • evaluate
  • measure
  • toll
  • charge
  • lane
  • junction
  • connect
  • access
  • green space
  • quality
  • standard
  • equity
  • environmental
  • economic
  • social
  • online
  • integration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: