IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage

Automation is an urgency in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today's world scenario. It is because of the growing population and the need
of
Change preposition
for
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 goods and services
at
Change preposition
in
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 higher quantities. Machines being an integral part now,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 helpful to limit the intervention of the human
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the manufacturing. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 advancements have different pros and cons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if we look at the paintings or art made by
an
Correct article usage
a
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 well-known
artisans
Fix the agreement mistake
artisan
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, the work done is impressive.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the time required to create a single sculpture is more. The minute details described
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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non-negotaible
Correct your spelling
non-negotiable
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the beauty of hand-woven raw silk cloth is
un-comparable
Use the right word
incomparable
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 with the
machine manufactured
Use the right word
machine-manufactured
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can be kept by people for decades.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some hand-made carvings are
irreplacable
Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, comparing the global demand, the production of large quantities of hand-woven silk is almost impossible
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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requirement
Correct article usage
the requirement
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 of
Correct article usage
a specialized
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specialized
Use the right word
specialised
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 workforce is limited, ultimately increasing the
overall
Linking Words
 cost of the product.
Hence
Linking Words
, textile manufacturing is a suitable way to solve the problem of supply and demand.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the hand-painted drawing by
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
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 painter is not available to everyone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, automated systems can print or paint the same paintings. It is cost-effective as well for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. The
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 3D modelling printers are able to create similar formats
Change preposition
in at
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at
Use the right word
a
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lesser
Correct word choice
shorter
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 time. The
hand-work
Use the right word
handwork
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 created with emotions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 always considered beautiful. The essence of nature is the reflection of the creator. So, the technology will decrease the price and money
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 unable to replace the emotions behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
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certain things. In conclusion, even if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
will replace
Wrong verb form
replaces
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 the home-made things but it will not replace the minute details made with the human touch and imagination.

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task response
State your view clearly. Say if you think more good or bad from automation and give one main reason.
structure
Plan your essay. Have an intro, body, and a short conclusion. Each part should have one clear idea.
grammar
Use simple grammar and spelling. Check small mistakes that can change the sense.
content
Give one or two good examples for each idea and explain how they show the point.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and cause. Use also words like 'but', 'so', 'therefore'.
content
You show balance by talking about both sides.
structure
You use examples from art and craft to back ideas.
organization
There is some clear order in parts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Time-saving
  • Precision
  • Consistency
  • Carbon footprint
  • Resource depletion
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Expenditure
  • Physical exertion
  • Sedentary lifestyle
What to do next:
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