Many cultures believe that telling children that they can achieve anything they want by working hard is a good thing. Others believe that it might not be a good idea. Give the advantages and disadvantages of saying this to children.

Many cultures
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have differences in letting
children
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achieve many things in their lives.
Parents
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and society are trying to encourage them to set goals for the future. In some cultures,
children
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are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
This
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essay will examine what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving
this
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message. On the one hand, there are several advantages to delivering
this
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message to
children
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. Many
parents
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are helping their
children
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by inspiring them to work and study hard to achieve success.
First,
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telling their
children
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to be brave is incredibly important.
Braveness
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Bravery
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will give them the opportunity to face anything and reach their goals.
Second,
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knowledge is the key to creating a path to the future. It helps
children
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collect a great deal of information.
Thus
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, they will work hard.
Third,
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self-confidence is the highest level for achieving goals.
Parents
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teach their kids how to be confident so they can believe in themselves.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, these features can
also
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have a negative effect on the
children
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. Giving them
,
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this
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idea may lead them to low self-esteem. First, people who push their
children
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into
this
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idea may be underestimating themselves.
Children
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may think they are not doing enough to please their
parents
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.
Second,
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children
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do not have enough playtime. They are told by their
parents
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that if they play or have a good time , it will affect their future.
Third,
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Kids can have a bad temper.
For example
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, not expressing their feelings and only focusing on hard work strictly to please their
parents
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,
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is dishonest. In conclusion, giving
children
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this
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message can be advantageous.
However
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, it can
also
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have the opposite effect. Since both are possible,
parents
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must think about
this
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concept of pushing their
children
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.

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content
Make your task come to a clear view. State your main idea in the first lines and use a simple plan.
structure
Split your text into clear parts. Use one idea per paragraph with a small line to move to the next.
content
Explain each point with a real example or fact to back it up.
grammar
Check spell and word choice. Use common words and the right form.
conclusion
End with a strong and short close that restates your view.
content
The topic is clear and you discuss both sides.
coherence
There is use of linking words to show compare and contrast.
content
Some good ideas are shown, like the idea of self belief and time use.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Self-esteem
  • Ambitious goals
  • Risk of unrealistic expectations
  • Undue stress
  • Self-blame
  • External factors
  • Hard work ethic
  • Motivation
  • Limitations
  • Potential
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