IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people sink hobbies should be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people tend to believe that the more difficult the hobbies are, the more enjoyment they get. In my opinion, art is are leisure movement that we do in our free time to have fun, so it does not matter whether they are easy or hard. Some humans enjoy doing hard
activities
Use synonyms
 as a hobby since they feel bored doing easy ones.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they feel delighted by completing complicated
activities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who goes skydiving will be prouder of themselves than those who run in the garden.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , performing challenging
activities
Use synonyms
 can support personal growth.
For example
Linking Words
, children who play chess, one of the most difficult games, can think more critically than others. That's why communities prefer to engage in hard pastime hobbies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, art is just for pleasure, not for achievements. The main purpose of doing leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 is to relax , which means reducing stress in our free time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, society does not need to choose the hard or simple ones.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who would love to stay at home and watch movies in their relaxation time rather than doing sports exercises, or a person who
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 interested in singing, might prefer singing rather than skiing. That's why they should spend it doing things they enjoy rather than choosing hard or easy exercises. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 completing difficult tasks can make the population cheerful, simple things are the best for some of them, if they love them.

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task
State a clear view in one line at the start. Then add two clear reasons.
structure
Make a simple plan. Use one idea per paragraph with short link words.
coherence
Use link words like First, Next, Also, But, In conclusion to join ideas.
examples
Give one strong example for each idea and explain it with a short detail.
grammar
Fix grammar: avoid 'are' before 'leisure' and match verb to subject.
lexical
Keep words and sentences simple. Use only common words.
task
End with a short restatement of your view.
content
The essay shows some real ideas about the topic.
examples
There is an attempt to use examples, like skydiving and chess.
coherence
There is a general flow from idea to idea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
What to do next:
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