IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that government invest more in space exploration while other believs ots a waste of moeny discuss bothe views

In today's fast-paced world, individuals hold
a
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diverse opinions on a wide range of topics. The majority of the population believes that countries' leaders should be investing more in space
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
.
While
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,
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 others argued that it's a waste of
money
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. In my opinion, government officials should be spending on other projects to improve public services. On one hand,
as
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due to
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 the advancement of technology , spending millions of dollars
in
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on
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 research programs is a fair choice. As better the quality of technology
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, great
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great
Correct word choice
the better
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results
Correct article usage
the results
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 we will get.
Furthermore
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 ,
this
Linking Words
 would be a great opportunity to add updates in research books of space exploration to spark the interest of younger generations towards scientific experimentation with the attraction
pf
Use the right word
of
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 photographs in it.
For example
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, in many colleges
(
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,
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NASA
)
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 organisations host big conferences for youth to grab their attention towards them, which eventually
,
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 focuses on the growth of the economy in different areas.
On the other hand
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, many citizens argued that
this
Linking Words
moneycould
Correct your spelling
money could
 be spent
in
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on
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 improving other sectors of national security ,
such
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 as human health.
As
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Like
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 many people in
the
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society, suffering
getting
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from getting
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 good services from hospital staff,
thus
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, investing
money
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 in developing infrastructure, conditions and supplies. The chances of saving lives will be increased.
Additionally
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, there are a lot of patients who lost their lives
,
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due to
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 a lack of access
hospitals
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to hospitals
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.
Thus
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, that
money
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 could be invested in improving the conditions of roads and building more infrastructure with well-educated staff. For evidence, more than half of the society cannot afford
large
Correct article usage
the large
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 fees of hospitals.
Thus
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, can build more public
-
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apply
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 healthcare services for them. To recapitulate, after examining both the views on whether it is right to pay large amounts on space programs. In my view, governors can invest
money
Use synonyms
 in other projects to improve the
overall
Linking Words
 quality and welfare of the public.

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language
Fix many errors in grammar and word use so the text is clear.
structure
Make a clear plan: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
content
Add clear and real examples that fit the topic and stay simple.
content
Try to present both sides with one strong reason for your view.
idea
You show a view on space money.
coherence
You use linking words like On one hand and On the other hand.
content
You make some effort to give example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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