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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

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The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
The two maps below illustrate
road
Use synonyms
 access to a
city
Use synonyms
 hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Around the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital was a circular
road
Use synonyms
, which connected to the southern
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
. On both sides of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
, there were
bus
Use synonyms
 stops, and on the east side, there were employee and public parking lots in 2007. In 2010, a public
bus
Use synonyms
 parking lot was added to the east of the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital. At the T-shaped intersection south of the hospital and at the crossroads connecting to the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
, roundabouts were installed
instead
Linking Words
. On both sides of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
 connecting the two roundabouts, the
bus
Use synonyms
 stops were transformed into
bus
Use synonyms
 stations and connected to the two roundabouts
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. The original public parking lot was converted into a staff-only parking lot.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 can make the entry and exit of vehicles more convenient, the parking areas more clearly defined, and the transfer of patients more timely.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
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