IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization

In modern
days
Punctuation problem
days,
show examples
mostly
Use the right word
most
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 people choose to start
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
,
instead
Linking Words
 to employed in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 company or
in
Change preposition
apply
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organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
Punctuation problem
. According
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according to
Linking Words
 my
Check wording
perspective
show examples
prospect
Punctuation problem
prospect,
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 there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being
self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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 I briefly describe below
Firstly
Linking Words
, when we open own start up we may take loss in the first time
therefore
Linking Words
 we all notice that no one in our planet become successful in the beginning every human face hurdles, difficulties of the way than he became successful
for instance
Linking Words
 malik riaz was painter in the past but now we all know that he is the well popular business man he own most famous society name bahria town
Secondly
Linking Words
, you must learn the
know how
Use the right word
know-how
show examples
 of every
start up
Use the right word
start-up
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 because every kind of work
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 a lot of experience
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it might be difficult for some people
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. further
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further more
Use the right word
Furthermore
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, it
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 depression, anxiety in case of loss
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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the
Correct article usage
a
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result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 they give up and lose hope of success In conclusion, there are well known problems if anyone choose self employed they face huge or small loss
while
Linking Words
 he did not know the things how they manage and how deal with it so must every may able of learn how know of self work if they did not done they face many health related problems in my recommendation every school and colleges must introduce commence book

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grammar
Work on making clear and short sentences. Use simple words and put a period at the end of each idea.
structure
Plan your essay: start with an easy intro, then 2-3 body ideas, and end with a short conclusion.
task response
Keep to one topic. State your view and stay on it.
content
Use real, simple examples and explain how they help your point.
vocabulary
Check common spell and form of words like 'business', 'employed', 'startup'.
structure
The essay tries to state a view on self employment and ends with a conclusion.
cohesion
There are some linking words used, such as 'In conclusion'.
content
It shows a few ideas on drawbacks and gives an example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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