IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. Hoewer, the goverments of richer nations should take more responsiblity for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Improvements in
health
Use synonyms
,education and trade are
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 for the progress of poorer
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,it is often argued that the
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of richer nations should take more responsibility for providing aid to the poorer nations in
such
Linking Words
 areas.The writer strongly agrees with
this
Linking Words
 opinion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the reasons. First of all,it is an undeniable fact that improvements in
health
Use synonyms
,education and
trade
Correct article usage
the trade
show examples
 sector
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 needed for the development of
unwealthy
Correct word choice
poor
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can be done
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 rich
countries
Use synonyms
.Most advanced
countries
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States of America and
Germany
Punctuation problem
Germany,
show examples
 have more resources to help improve undeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 African
countries
Use synonyms
.Considering the
health
Use synonyms
 sector,rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can render support by building hospitals and
equiping
Correct your spelling
equipping
 them with all the necessary machines needed for
treatment
Correct article usage
the treatment
show examples
 of different kinds of diseases in Africa.By
so doing
Correct word order
doing so
show examples
,it will help develop these poor
countries
Use synonyms
Additionally
Linking Words
,most rich
countries
Use synonyms
 are wealthy because of these poor
countries
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of
colonization
Use the right word
colonisation
show examples
.In the olden days,Many Europeans
flee
Wrong verb form
fled
show examples
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
 to
colonize
Use the right word
colonise
show examples
 them.
As a result
Linking Words
,they got some natural resources
such
Linking Words
 as gold,diamond and bauxite from these
countries
Use synonyms
 and returned to their
countries
Use synonyms
 to develop them with these resources.A clear example is Britain,when they
colonized
Use the right word
colonised
show examples
 most western African
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
s
Correct your spelling
the
 Gold Coast
now
Punctuation problem
, now
show examples
 known as Ghana and extracted gold from them to develop
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom.As a matter of fact,since these poor continents contributed to the wealth of the rich
countries
Use synonyms
,the government officials
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to take full responsibility to help
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the progress of these poor
countries
Use synonyms
 in terms of schools,marketing and
health
Use synonyms
 In conclusion,
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 officials of rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should take more responsibility to help develop poor
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 since they are more resourceful and poor
countries
Use synonyms
 contributed to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
development
rich
Change preposition
of rich
show examples
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
.

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language
Fix many spelling and grammar errors. Use short, plain sentences. Check 'health', 'education', 'trade', 'develop', and other common words.
coherence
Give each idea a clear single point in each paragraph. Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to next.
content
Keep to the task. State your view clearly early or in the end and keep it there. Give reasons and some facts or examples to back them.
content
Use better evidence. Not only say 'colonization', but explain how it affects funds, aid, or policy now.
structure
Structure: Intro, 2-3 body paragraphs, conclusion. Each paragraph has a main idea.
content
The writer states a clear overall view (agree).
structure
There is an attempt to give reasons and examples.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • education
  • trade
  • rich
  • poor
  • help
  • aid
  • growth
  • life
  • school
  • teacher
  • learn
  • work
  • jobs
  • money
  • plan
  • build
  • partner
  • country
  • together
  • should
  • must
  • can
  • need
  • fair
  • rule
  • change
  • develop
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