IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays there is a growing trend of private car ownership. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages for environmental problems associated with this?

In recent
times
Punctuation problem
times,
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 there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a rapid increase in owning private
cars
Use synonyms
.The writer will elaborate on both merits and demerits
for
Change preposition
of
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 environmental issues associated with
this
Linking Words
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 an opinion will be given in
subsequent
Correct article usage
the subsequent
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 paragraph. On the one hand,on main positive impact of private
car
Use synonyms
 ownership is that it helps
decrease
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 on public transport.The increasing trend of using
ones
Check wording
one's
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 own
car
Use synonyms
 helps
decrease
Use synonyms
 the
pressure
Use synonyms
 on public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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such
Linking Words
 as trams,coaches,trains and buses.As a
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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,it helps the less
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
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 who are not able to afford expensive automobiles access public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 with ease without any
pressure
Use synonyms
.A survey conducted by the students of
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Cape
coast
Fix capitalization
Coast
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 revealed that there has been a
decrease
Use synonyms
 in
pressure
Use synonyms
 on public
automobiles
Check wording
transportation
show examples
due to
Linking Words
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 ownership of private
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
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.
Check wording
ownership.
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This
Linking Words
 clearly shows how positive
this
Linking Words
 trend has contributed to the development of countries
in
Change preposition
around
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 the globe.
One
Use the right word
On
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 the other hand,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in environmental pollution is one disadvantage of many people owning private
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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more vehicles on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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releases
Fix the agreement mistake
release
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 fumes
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
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 depletion of the ozone layer and air pollution as well
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is detrimental to the health of people in
such
Linking Words
 areas.A good example is in Urban areas where the use of private
cars
Use synonyms
 is on the rise
,
Punctuation problem
;
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there are high chances of environmental pollution posing
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
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 to the health of the general public.
This
Linking Words
 vividly explains the disadvantage of many owning private automobiles In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 private
car
Use synonyms
ownerships
Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
show examples
 helps
decrease
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 on social amenities
such
Linking Words
 as
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
,the health risk it poses
on
Change preposition
to
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 people can not be ignored.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of
car
Use synonyms
 ownership

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task response
Have a clear intro that says what you will talk about and your view.
coherence
Give more solid ideas and examples to show each point.
language
Fix big grammar and spelling mistakes to make the text easy to read.
coherence
Use linking words to connect sentences and ideas well.
task response
Both sides are shown and a final view is given.
organization
There are clear paragraphs and some topic ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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