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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the rates of world illiteracy based on region, and both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, South
Asia
Use synonyms
 is the most populous region who have illiterate
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have the lowest rates of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
. Regarding the bar chart, the highest three
countries
Use synonyms
' rates of illiteracy were South
Asia
Use synonyms
, the Arab states and Sub-Saharan Africa. South
Asia
Use synonyms
 is rated at over 50% and 30% for
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
. In comparison, the Arab states had approximately 50% females and under 30% males.
While
Linking Words
 Sub-Saharan Africa had under 50%
women
Use synonyms
 and slightly over 30%
men
Use synonyms
. The lowest three
countries
Use synonyms
 were East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Latin America and Developed
countries
Use synonyms
. The developed
countries
Use synonyms
 rated the lowest at approximately 1% for both genders. In comparison with Latin America, at over 10% females and 10% males, East
Asia
Use synonyms
 had the largest proportion of illiteracy at 20%
women
Use synonyms
, but lower for
men
Use synonyms
's under 10% .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, asia, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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