In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermaket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

In recent years, people in many countries can purchase
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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which
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
from other overseas at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
markets
Check wording
prices
show examples
. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it may seem to be an advantage for customers,
in
Change preposition
from
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my perspective, I believe that
this
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is a negative development and I will examine the reasons in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, buying
food
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at
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supermarket
Correct article usage
a supermarket
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affects
to
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apply
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local
food
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producers or local
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
. It is true that people as
consumers
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will have
verities
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a variety
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of choices of what they want to consume.
This
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is
Verb problem
apply
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cause
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causes
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more competition between
food
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producers. Not only in domestic
production
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, but
also
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other
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in other
show examples
nations that present their
food
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in
Change preposition
on
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the
Use synonyms
supermaket's
Correct your spelling
supermarket's
shelves.
As a result
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, the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
of being
chosed
Correct your spelling
chosen
will be decreased and lead to a lower income for local
food
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entrepeneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
.
Therefore
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, local restaurants and
food
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producers may have to be shut down because it is very competitive in supermarkets.
In addition
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, if many
domestice
Correct your spelling
domestic
food
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manufactories
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manufacturers
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close their
business
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, it means
less
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fewer
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competitiors
Correct your spelling
competitors
for high markets. So,
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supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
business
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could become
monopoly
Correct article usage
a monopoly
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.
Consequently
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,
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supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
owners can set the entry price as high as they wish
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it would be harder for small or medium
food
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business
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to show their
product
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products
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in
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supermarket
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supermarkets
show examples
.
Secondly
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, in
generally
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general
show examples
,
food
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prodecers
Correct your spelling
producers
have to add some ingredients or instant
food
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which may
harmful
Verb problem
be harmful
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to health of people in their
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food
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health
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in order to prolong
their
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the
show examples
shelf life of their
production
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. If their
production
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stay
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stays
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longer on the shelf in
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supermarket
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the supermarket
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,
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thus
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then
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food
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business
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man could save their cost.
Moreover
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, as those
foods
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are from overseas, those
foods
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have to be frozen for transportation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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could
be
Verb problem
have
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negative
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a negative
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impact
to
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on
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
quality of
food
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. Since
consumers
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trend
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tend
show examples
to buy those
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production
Replace the word
products
show examples
from
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supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
instead
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of home cooking.
This
Linking Words
could cause health problems in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
term because
consumers
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eat
bad nutritian
Correct word choice
unhealthy
show examples
foods
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frequently. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having several
overseas'
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overseas
show examples
food
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product
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products
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could lead to many
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
and
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, and
show examples
this
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is a negative development because local
food
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will be
challenge
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challenged
show examples
very much
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
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the
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
in
Use synonyms
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
may not
suitable
Verb problem
be suitable
show examples
for
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
of
consumers
Use synonyms
.

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structure
State your view in a clear sentence in the intro and be sure you keep to one side.
structure
Make each para focus on one idea and add a simple link to the next part.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences and fix common grammar errors before you finish.
content
Give one or two easy examples to back your point.
response
The piece shows a view that overseas food can be a bad thing.
structure
Two main ideas are used in two body parts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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