IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communiction possibilities world-wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

It is often believed that
instead
Linking Words
 of seeing the
internet
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 as a means of opening up new
communication
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 possibilities
world-wide
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worldwide
show examples
,we should be concerned about its impact on social
interaction
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.The writing strongly agrees with the notion
and
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, and
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 the essay will explain why. First of all,it is an undeniable fact that technology has affected social
interaction
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 in recent times
and
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, and
show examples
 it should not be ignored.One main concern of the effects it has is
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
confidence
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 in
people
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.The
use
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 of social media
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook,
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
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,
twitter
Fix capitalization
Twitter
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,Snapchat
and
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, and
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 WhatsApp has ruined
communication
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 skills.
This
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 has greatly affected youngsters
especially
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, especially
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 between the ages of 15 and 24.
As a result
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,these young children
lack
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confidence
Correct article usage
the confidence
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 to have physical
interaction
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 with their peers and in school.A survey conducted
in
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at
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 the University of Cape Coast in
west
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West
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 Africa revealed that 75% cases of
lack
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 of
self
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self-confidence
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confidence
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is
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are
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as a result
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 of the
use
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internet
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 for
communication
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.
This
Linking Words
 clearly shows the motive why there should be concern
of
Change preposition
about
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 the effect technology has on
communication
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the
use
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 of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 creates means of
impersonating
Replace the word
impersonation
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.The
internet
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 enables
people
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 to
use
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 fake accounts on their social media platforms.
This
Linking Words
 act can be done through copying and posting pictures of
people
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especially
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, especially
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 celebrities,ministers and influencers
on
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, on
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 their page to communicate with
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 results in
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of trust in conversation with friends and family.A research
constructed
Verb problem
conducted
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 by Social science students
in
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at
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University
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the University
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 of Ghana showed that there has been a rapid increase
rate
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apply
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in
impersonating
Replace the word
impersonation
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 cases in Africa
due to
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 the
use
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 of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to communicate.
This
Linking Words
 shows the negative impact on social
interaction
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. To recapitulate,
lack
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 of
self
Use the right word
self-confidence
show examples
confidence
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 and increased impersonating rates should not be ignored
even
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, even
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 though the
internet
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 helps in opening up new
communication
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.

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task response
You take a clear stand, but add more ideas and a small look at the other side to balance your view.
coherence
Put your ideas in clear paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a topic idea and end with a short line that links to the next idea.
coherence
Try to use shorter sentences. Too long sentences can slow the reader. Use one idea per sentence when possible and use punctuation well.
grammar
Check spelling and capital letters. Names such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and West Africa should be written with capital letters and with spaces after commas.
lexical
Add more simple examples or clear facts. Keep the facts believable and easy to read, and keep language simple.
grammar
Watch verb tense and be consistent in your time frame.
task response
Clear position on the topic.
coherence
Some real world examples linked to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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