IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment

These maps illustrate how reconstruction will change in the current plan of
university’s
Correct article usage
the university’s
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the outdoors of the
centre
Use synonyms
 will change a lot during the period. Some facilities will be added to
this
Linking Words
 complex.
For example
Linking Words
, there are two outdoor courts on the east and west sides of the
centre
Use synonyms
. The west outdoor courts will be replaced by a large leisure pool and a changing
room
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the pool.
Similarly
Linking Words
, a new
sports
Use synonyms
 hall and two dance studios will be made
instead
Linking Words
 of the east outdoor pools.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a new changing
room
Use synonyms
 will be built on the east bottom corner of the
centre
Use synonyms
. Some places will be developed.
For instance
Linking Words
, the reception area will improve.
Hence
Linking Words
, a new café will be constructed next to the east changing
room
Use synonyms
, and a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop will be created near the west changing
room
Use synonyms
.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, there are some recreational facilities in the middle of the university
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
, like a
25 meter
Use the right word
25-meter
show examples
 pool, a gym, a seating area and a changing
room
Use synonyms
. All of them will
be remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
 unchanged, except the gym, which will be expanded to the east. All in all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the redevelopment will make a significant change in exterior areas.

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overview
Make a clear map of what stays the same and what will be new. Start with a short line that says the big plan for the place.
coherence
Group ideas in order and use linking words to show flow.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors. Use 'will stay the same' instead of 'will be remained unchanged'.
lexical
Use exact names from the map, like 'two outdoor courts' or '25 metre pool', to show exact facts.
overview
There is a clear view of what will change.
details
Many facts show what will be added or kept.
coherence
Link words help ideas flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • redevelopment
  • expansion
  • modern amenities
  • recreational activities
  • cater
  • enhancement
  • aesthetics
  • accommodate
  • upgraded
  • welcoming
  • significantly expanded
  • current layout
  • future layout
  • gym enthusiasts
  • modernized
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