IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

The demand for goods is rising, and
this
Linking Words
 often damages the environment .
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons
the
Change preposition
for the
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 growth of small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and suggest solutions like banning harmful materials and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
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 eco-friendly practices. I truly believe
this
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 is a serious issue that needs our immediate attention . A lot of people are
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 small business shops and street stalls, often selling products in cheap packaging.
For instance
Linking Words
, dress shops,
makeups iteams
Fix the agreement mistake
makeup and beauty products
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 shops and street
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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.
This
Linking Words
 places making things super accessible and people tend to buy more
tha
Correct your spelling
than
 they actually need. Our modern society really pushes for trendy items. Clearly, plastic and polythene bags are a real problem. They end up polluting our rivers, soil, and they can be harmful to wild animals. Excess packaging from
onlune
Correct your spelling
online
 orders creates even more waste and contributes to a larger carbon footprint
due to
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delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
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 process.
Also
Linking Words
, overproduction in factories is another issue. It leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution and which in turn drives climate change and
imoact
Correct your spelling
impacts
people
Check wording
people's
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 health.
As a result
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,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 need a take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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action
stop to
Correct word order
to stop
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 those harmful polythene bags and encourage the use of
paoer
Correct your spelling
paper
 bags. And need to educate consumers on the importance of
bying
Correct your spelling
buying
 only
want
Use the right word
what
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 they truly need. I believe that consumerism poses a significant threat to our environment , but strict rules and education can reduce the damage. In conclusion ,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 rise of businesses is driving up consumer goods, but
this
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 trend is taking a tax on the environment . Government laws and regulations can tackle
this
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 issue efficiently.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Have four parts: intro, 2 body parts (one for reasons, one for solutions), and a short conclusion.
structure
Make each idea a full sentence in its own paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and add one simple example.
coherence
Use small linking words to show order and to connect ideas, like also, but, so, and because.
content
Answer all parts of the question clearly. Say your view and back it with a reason and a simple solution.
accuracy
Check word use and spelling. Watch for plurals and articles (a/an, the) to be clear.
content
You show that the issue is serious and you give your view.
content
You name some causes like shops and bags as a reason.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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