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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries.
The graph gives data about the percentage of the
population
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 in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with a forecast for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
 Malaysia and Indonesia
were
Verb problem
apply
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decreased significantly, the indicators of the Philippines and Thailand almost growth over time. As the line graph shows, Malaysia started with a 30 per
cent
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population
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 in 1970, followed by an enormous rise to around 65 per
cent
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population
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 from 1990 to 2020. Afterwards, Malaysia remained almost growth until the end of the term. Regarding Philippines began with approximately 32% of 32
population
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.
Then
Linking Words
, the Philippines fluctuated between 1980 and 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was a steady increase to around 53 per
cent
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population
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 from 2020 to 2040. Turning to Indonesia started with about just over 12 per
cent
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population
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 in 1970. Followed by a huge increase to about 25 per
cent
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 from 1980 to 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 increase to 50 per
cent
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 between 2000 to 2040.Turning to Thailand began with about 19 per
cent
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 in 1970.
Then
Linking Words
, it fluctuated to 40 per
cent
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population
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 until the end of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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