IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that technology has greatly improved education, while others think it has more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A key benefit of
technology
Use synonyms
 in
education
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 is the expansion of learning opportunities. Interactive multimedia tools enable students to access a broad range of information and resources, facilitating a deeper understanding of complex topics.
Technology
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 enhances student engagement and supports active learning through
personalized
Use the right word
personalised
show examples
 and interactive teaching methods. Despite these benefits, using
technology
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 in
education
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 has some drawbacks.
For example
Linking Words
, excessive dependence on
technology
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 may reduce face-to-face interactions and impede the development of important social skills.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the presence of inaccurate or biased information online can challenge the reliability and accuracy of academic sources.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the advantages of
technology
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 in
education
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 far surpass its drawbacks. Integrating
technology
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 helps bridge traditional teaching with the digital era, equipping students with the skills required for careers dependent on technological proficiency.
Technology
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also
Linking Words
 supports distance learning, reaching students in remote areas or those with limited access to educational resources.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
technology
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 has
revolutionized
Use the right word
revolutionised
show examples
education
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 by enhancing learning opportunities and fostering student engagement.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages, the benefits of integrating
technology
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 into
education
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outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks. Educators should maintain
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between traditional methods with technological tools to
optimize
Use the right word
optimise
show examples
 the effectiveness of both.

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task response
Give more real examples to show ideas. Explain both sides in more even detail. Close with a clear yes or no that comes from the ideas in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in clear blocks. Use a paragraph for each main idea. Use simple link words like also, but, however, and in addition to help the flow.
language quality
Watch small mistakes in grammar, especially subject verb and plural focus (for example 'outweighs' should match 'benefits' as 'outweigh'). Use short, clear sentences.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
structure
The essay uses signpost words such as Nevertheless and To sum up.
content
There are good examples in the essay like distance learning and remote areas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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