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Band 6

The charts below show the results of a survey of undergraduate students at a university in the UK who were able to speak languages other than English, in the years 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the results of a survey of undergraduate students at a university in the UK who were able to speak languages other than English, in the years 2000 and 2010.
The charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the proportions of British
students
Use synonyms
 at one university in England who were capable of speaking
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
other
languages
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to English from 2000 to 2010. Over the span of 10 years, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who didn't speak other
language
Use synonyms
, who spoke another
language
Use synonyms
 and who spoke two other
languages
Use synonyms
was been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased,
while
Linking Words
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and French occupied less
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 speaking German was the same. In 2000,
students
Use synonyms
 of speaking no other
language
Use synonyms
 was the highest amount which reached 30% of all
students
Use synonyms
, with the
students
Use synonyms
 speaking
Spanish
Use synonyms
 following behind as the second quantity, and it was three times as much as the
students
Use synonyms
 speaking German or two other
languages
Use synonyms
, both of which occupied the least amount in the chart for about 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 spoke French
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 15%, equaling to who spoke another
language
Use synonyms
. In 2010, the
students
Use synonyms
 speaking no other
language
Use synonyms
, another
language
Use synonyms
 and two other
languages
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
all
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 by 5%,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
students of
Correct word order
of students
show examples
 speaking
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and French
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined, and the number of
Spanish
Use synonyms
 spoken
students
Use synonyms
 dropped sharply by approximately 10%. What's more, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 speaking
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 was still the
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
show examples
 in the chart
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the French,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and German spoken
students
Use synonyms
 became the least in the chart.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, percentage, language, spanish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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