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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

❖Nowadays, more and more people prefer choosing online courses to learn than attending regular classes. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, a considerable proportion of the population
prefer
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prefers
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 studying online
courses
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 rather than attending offline
classess
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classes
.
This
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 essay will discuss both the disadvantages and advantages of
this
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 trend. Today, in the modern world, offline
courses
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 have increased remarkably, and these
courses
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 are conducted through social media.
This
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 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 modern technologies are developing better day by day. There is no
daubt
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doubt
 that they
provode
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provide
 many beneficial
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
,
such
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 as allowing
students
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 to receive
education
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 from different countries at the same time and saving time
instead
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 of going to
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Correct article usage
an education
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education
Replace the word
educational
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centere
Correct your spelling
centre
.
Moreover
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,
this
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 type of
education
Use synonyms
 is a little cheaper than
ofline
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online
education
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, many young people
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 studying online.
On the other hand
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, several members of society argue that traditional
couses
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courses
 are more effective than online
courses
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. In the past, a large proportion of people gained a lot of knowledge about their fields by attending
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
education
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center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
thre
Correct your spelling
there
 are still many educational
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 in each country and they have
also
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 increased even though online
education
Use synonyms
 platforms are
increaesing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 rapidly. Because educational
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 can
requir
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require
 discipline from learners,
students
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 have to come to school on time
and
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, and
show examples
 the lessons are conducted live. So,
students
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 can get
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of fundamental
education
Use synonyms
 from different teachers. In conclusion, it depends on learners' needs since both
education
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sytems
Correct your spelling
systems
 can provide essential knowledge for
students
Use synonyms
. From my perspective,
it is clear that
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 online
courses
Use synonyms
 have more advantages than regular
courses
Use synonyms
 because they offer greater flexibility, accessibility, and opportunities for self-paced learning.

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content
State your view clearly in the introduction and keep it through the essay.
content
Explain the drawbacks of online courses with clear, real examples.
structure
Use topic sentences for each paragraph and link ideas with simple words.
content
Give more concrete examples and keep language simple and true.
language
Check spelling and grammar to make your meaning clear.
conclusion
End with a strong conclusion that repeats your view.
language
Use plain words and short sentences to fit the top 100 words rule.
structure
The essay looks at both sides of the issue.
content
It gives ideas on why online learning can be easy to get and save time.
content
The end says online learning may have more benefit.
structure
The plan shows a main idea and a response to the question.
content
There is effort to compare online and offline learning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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