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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The tables show
sales
Use synonyms
 of coffee and
bananas
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 Fairtrade-labelled in European countries in 1999 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest increase in coffee and
Use synonyms
bananas
Fix the agreement mistake
banana
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 was in England from 1999 to 2004.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
millions
Use synonyms
 of
euros
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 came from
Use synonyms
bananas
Fix the agreement mistake
banana
show examples
Use synonyms
sales
Punctuation problem
sales,
show examples
 decreased in Sweden and Denmark from 1999 to 2004. In five European countries, coffee
sales
Use synonyms
 rose from 1999 to 2004;
moreover
Linking Words
,
millions
Use synonyms
 of
euros
Use synonyms
 increased gradually
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than ten times from 1.5 to 20.
However
Linking Words
, the least increase was observed equally in Denmark and Sweden,
it
Rephrase
where it
show examples
 grew by 0.2
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of Fairtrade-labelled
bananas
Use synonyms
 had shown in the UK from 15
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 to 47
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
millions
Use synonyms
 of
euros
Use synonyms
 gained from
trade
Correct article usage
the trade
show examples
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 fell to 1
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 from 1.8 in Sweden. Meanwhile,
bananas
Use synonyms
 were sold by Denmark
2
Change preposition
for 2
show examples
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 in
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
show examples
while
Linking Words
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
bananas
Fix the agreement mistake
banana
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 declined to 0.9
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 in 2004.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, bananas, millions, euros with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade-labelled
  • sales figures
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • European countries
  • sales volume
  • notable trend
  • exponential growth
  • moderate rise
  • marked decline
  • comparative analysis
  • economic factors
  • consumer preferences
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