In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

There is no doubt that these days employees
spending
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spend
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extended
hours
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and
hours
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in their jobs.There are several reasons behind
this
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trend.
Firstly
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, the rising cost of living forces many individuals to work overtime in order to meet their financial obligations
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such
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, such
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as housing,education, and daily expenses.
Secondly
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, in highly competitive industries, workers often believe that staying longer at work can help them achieve promotions and job security.
Additionally
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, the advancement of technology has blurred the line between professional and personal life, making it difficult for people to disconnect after working
hours
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.
However
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,
this
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development has both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, working longer can increase productivity and contribute to the economic growth of a country. Companies may benefit from higher output, and employees might gain more experience and financial rewards.
On the other hand
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, the negative impacts are more significant. Spending excessive time at work can lead to physical and mental health problems,
such
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as stress, burnout, and lack of sleep. It
also
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reduces the time available for family, social activities, and personal development, which are essential for a balanced lifestyle. Over time,
this
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can harm both individuals and
organizations
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organisations
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due to
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decreased motivation. In conclusion,
while
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working long
hours
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may bring some short-term financial and professional benefits, I believe
it
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apply
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is negative effects on health and personal well-being outweigh the advantages. Governments and companies should promote better work-life balance to ensure sustainable development.

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improvement
Your essay asks why people work long hours and if this is good or bad. You explain reasons and say the bad side is bigger. To raise the score, make your view very clear in the start. In the intro, say what you will discuss and share your view in one line. In the body, have two clear parts: 'Why this happens' and 'Is it good or bad'. End with a clear line that shows your own view. Use simple language and fix small grammar errors.
improvement
Work on coherence. Give one idea per paragraph and start with a short line that tells what the paragraph is about. Use small linking words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so' to join ideas. Do not repeat the same phrase. Check phrases like 'spending' to avoid wrong form and keep the time you read in the same tense.
strength
Good use of linking words (Firstly, Secondly, However) to show order of ideas.
strength
Clear view that the weaker side is health and life balance, with a suggestion to use balance policies.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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