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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart showed the different methods of communication on daily news in
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of people of different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, in one country and in 2011.The types of
media
Use synonyms
 were
Micro blogging
Use the right word
microblogging
show examples
, Radio and Social networks, and
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 ranged between 10 and 17, 18 and 29, 30 and 49, 50 and 64, and
finally
Linking Words
 65 and above.
Overall
Linking Words
, Radio had the highest
usage
Use synonyms
 among the different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
 micro
blogging
Use the right word
microblogging
show examples
 had the lowest
media
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
across
show examples
 all ages. The bar graph showed that Radio had a consistent highest
media
Use synonyms
 percentage of
usage
Use synonyms
 on three
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 from 18 to 64 years of about 95%. The social network was high
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 10 to 17 and 18 to
29 years
Correct your spelling
29-year-olds
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 80% in both respectively. There was a gradual decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of social networks to get news from 30 years going upwards, the lowest percentage was 10% for adults aged 65 and
higher
Correct word choice
older
show examples
.
Micro blogging
Use the right word
Microblogging
show examples
 barely reached 30% of people using the
media
Use synonyms
 , highest
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 about 25% by an
age
Use synonyms
 group of 18 to 29.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, media, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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