IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ome people think that visiting museums is the best way for children to learn history, while many others think there are several better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As every country owns their own
history
Use synonyms
, which should be
knowledged
Verb problem
known
show examples
 by each citizen
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different ways. Few
states
Check wording
states'
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
 impact on learning
history
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 remaining
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 teaching
history
Use synonyms
 can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to many other improved ways
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly opine
Use synonyms
museums
Correct word choice
that museums
show examples
 are the best
way
Use synonyms
 for
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation to learn their
history
Use synonyms
 and culture in
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
way
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it can
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 introduced
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many more creative
style
Check wording
ways
show examples
 in their lives. My essay will explicate both statements in detail. A prime reason, different
mind sets
Use the right word
mindsets
show examples
 having different views from which some individuals
beleives
Correct your spelling
believe
 visiting
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 with their kids carries
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
Use synonyms
values
Punctuation problem
values,
show examples
 like it surrounds
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 clear and great images among young faces
because
Punctuation problem
, because
show examples
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 are seen to be never interested in knowing backgrounds and their histories.
Museums
Use synonyms
 are the best
way
Use synonyms
 of engaging children with their
Correct your spelling
ancestors
ancesters
Punctuation problem
ancesters,
show examples
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
carries
Correct subject-verb agreement
carry
show examples
 big monuments and statues
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 surprisingly creates
interset
Use the right word
interest
show examples
 in them. To exemplify my view, a survey
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 conducted by
UK
Correct article usage
a UK
show examples
 university
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 on different
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of students. One group was those who
taken
Verb problem
were taken
show examples
 to
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 every year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one was not taken, and it has been noticed that
museum visiting
Use the right word
museum-visit
show examples
 students were more
knowing
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
 and
giving
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 value to their culture and community than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one.
Hence
Linking Words
,
museums
Use synonyms
 are documented as
far
Correct article usage
a far
show examples
 better
way
Use synonyms
 to
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 their children with
anciet
Correct your spelling
ancient
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others argue that their several new techniques to provide historical
values
Use synonyms
 to their children because going to
museums
Use synonyms
 holds many other
obstracles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
 like
time
Use synonyms
mangement
Correct your spelling
management
 and financial
cercumstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
.
For example
Linking Words
,
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era,
Check wording
people holds
show examples
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
 busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has
been
Correct word order
also been
show examples
also
Linking Words
 observed by some agencies that not every house is economically stable to take their young
once
Use the right word
ones
show examples
 to
mueseum
Correct your spelling
museums
 because they have to give their maximum
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work to fulfil their
families
Check wording
family's
show examples
 basic needs.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it has been
bleived
Correct your spelling
believed
 by many
houses
Check wording
apply
show examples
that
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
values
Use synonyms
 should be taught
through out
Use the right word
throughout
show examples
 their childhood by parents and teachers
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as introducing
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
 routine and teaching them about
ancesters
Correct your spelling
ancestors
.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance,
history
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not only focused
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it should
also
Linking Words
 be considered by adults to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
values
Use synonyms
 among their kids. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, generation differences
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 regarding
values
Use synonyms
 of
anciet
Correct your spelling
ancient
time
Use synonyms
 in young bloods
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
says
Check wording
generation says
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
 are
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of understanding
Use synonyms
history
Punctuation problem
history,
show examples
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
whereas
show examples
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
elder
Use the right word
older
show examples
onces
Correct your spelling
ones
states
Fix the agreement mistake
state
show examples
values
Use synonyms
 can be created
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home by parents via several interesting ways
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 favour that it can be
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 from the
starting
Check wording
start
show examples
 of life by their elders.

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organization
Plan ideas clearly: first state both views, then give your own view at the end.
grammar/vocabulary
Use short, simple sentences. Check spelling and use correct word forms.
content
Give clear examples that support each idea and show how museums help learning.
content
You try to address both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a plan with an introduction and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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