IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In order to solve the problems of cities related to pollution and traffic, some people say that the government should offer free public transportation. Do you think the advantages of this will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that fixing pollution and
traffic
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
 can be solved by free public transportation. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and the following examples will be provided in order to support my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. One of the important reasons why free public transportation is not the key for solving those
problems
Use synonyms
 is that most of the population in Thailand
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not commonly use public transport as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 individual vehicle
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion does not lead the way to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the vehicles
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the roads are private cars because the quality of public transport
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not good enough
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point will lead to
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion and pollution from poor efficiency of the bus combustion engine. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that regulations are not strict
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
 prevent the bad habit
parking
Change preposition
of parking
show examples
. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in recent news, it has been reported that some
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
 in Thailand where
people
Use synonyms
 do not care
regulation
Check wording
apply
show examples
about parking
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 those market tend to have
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 PM25
from
Check wording
levels from
show examples
 the
traffic
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 obey the law.
This
Linking Words
 case demonstrates that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stricter
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
significant
Replace the word
significantly
show examples
 solve
problems
Use synonyms
 more than free tickets. In conclusion, it
undoubtedly
Verb problem
is undoubtedly
show examples
 true that free public transportation is not the right way to fix the pollution and
traffic
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 normally use private
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 public
, and
Check wording
transportation, and
show examples
Use synonyms
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 problem
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from the way
people
Use synonyms
 respond or obey the law for parking.

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task response
Your main idea is clear, but you need a stronger view of the task. State your claim clearly and keep it in each part of the essay.
coherence
Link ideas with simple links. Use words like first, next, also, but, for example to show how ideas are related.
task response
You show a clear view that free transport is not the fix.
coherence
You add some local example about your country, which helps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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