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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates the kinds of media that
peaople
Correct your spelling
people
 at different
age
Use synonyms
 categories use to get news on a daily basis during 2011 in a specific country. From an
overal
Correct your spelling
overall
 perspective, radio dominated other means of media among adults,
while
Linking Words
 social networks
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 more popular
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
among younger people.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
micro blogging
Use the right word
microblogging
show examples
 was the least used type of media by all
age
Use synonyms
 categories to get news. As shown in the chart, 95% of people in 3 categories
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 18-29, 30-49, 50-64 ages and around 85% of people over 65
preferred
Punctuation problem
, preferred
show examples
 radio to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 new information
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it the most popular share in these groups.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
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, radio was not very popular for
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 10-17, accounting for 40%. Regarding
cocial
Correct your spelling
social
 networks, obviously younger
age
Use synonyms
 groups
such
Linking Words
 as 10-17 and 18-20 had the same proportion of 80. As the
age
Use synonyms
 increases, the usage of social networks decreases, about 40% for 30-49, over 30% for 50-64 and roughly 10% for
Correct determiner usage
those elder
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elder
Use the right word
older
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 than 65.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the shares for micro-blogging were relatively low
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
 for exactly 20% for teenagers, a bit higher
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 it
for
Verb problem
was for
show examples
 the next group, about 15 % for the category of 30-49, much less for older groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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