IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the U.S., 1970-2015

The graph depicts the amount of
milk
Use synonyms
 consumed in the United States from 1970 to 2015. Two types of
milk
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 are shown in the figure which are whole
milk
Use synonyms
 and low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
. From the graph it can be said that there was a dramatic decrease in the whole
milk
Use synonyms
 consumption and as the graph gets closer to the year 2010, the slope became less steepier. Low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, became more popular as the time goes on. Its usage got three times bigger in just two decades from 5 in 1970 to 15 in 1990.
Although
Linking Words
 after 1990 there was no specific change in the amount low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
 used till 2010 and the line stayed consistent.
This
Linking Words
 type of
milk
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 lost its fans even more between 2010 to 2015 and the line began to fall. In conclusion, more people tend to use low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
 and its usage reached almost 15 gallons per capita in 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, whole
milk
Use synonyms
 intake decreased sharply from 25 gallons to having slightly more than 5 gallons per capita in the same year.

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task response
Add a short map of the main idea at the start and finish with a quick end view. This helps the reader see the plan and the end. Fix small words that do not fit.
task response
Fix wrong words. For example, 'steepier' should be 'steeper' and use 'less steep' to show the slope. Use precise words for trends.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas. Start with 'First' or 'To begin', then 'Next' and 'However'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Each part should have its own point and its data.
task response
The essay shows a clear shift from whole milk to low-fat milk.
coherence and cohesion
Key years and numbers are used (1970, 1990, 2010, 2015).
coherence and cohesion
Intro and conclusion are present and clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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