IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The table shows unemployment rate in labour force in 1994 and 2004

The table shows unemployment rate in labour force in 1994 and 2004
The table demonstrates the rate of jobless people in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 force in nine different
countries
Use synonyms
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1994 and 2004
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Poland, Germany, Australia and Japan experienced a significant increase in
unemployments
Fix the agreement mistake
unemployment
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 (Ireland, Italy, Canada, UK, and USA) witnessed a marginal reduction throughout the period. In 1994, the percentage of people who
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not work was 14.8 % and it declined remarkably to 4.4% in a decade. The
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of people without
workplace
Correct article usage
a workplace
show examples
 in Italy was 11.8% in 1994
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
then
Linking Words
 went down to 8.4% in the next 10 years. Other
countries
Use synonyms
 have experienced a notable decline
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 Canada (10.6% to 7.7%), the United Kingdom (9.5% to 4.7%), and the United States ( 7.2% to 5.4%). Poland,
in contrast
Linking Words
, was 12.4% and
this
Linking Words
 figure climbed noticeably and
making
Verb problem
reaching
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest at 19% in 2004. Turning to the next source, Germany was 7.2% in 1994
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it showed
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 trend at 9.4% in 2004. Australia and Japan illustrated an important rise within the given years. In 1994, Australia was only 5% before
uplifting
Verb problem
rising
show examples
 to 5.4% in 2004.
While
Linking Words
 Japan was 2.7% and increased to 2 per cent
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it to 4.7% in 2004.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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